Ottawa Women's Coach

good afternoon to all of you from Ottawa to Singapour, Sydney, and everywhere in between. As you have noticed, I have been very quiet on this blog for the past while. I have focused on my psychotherapy practice and I have started a new blog about EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques)for adult daughters of alcoholic parents and emotional eating for overweight and/or obese women. My 20 years' experience in addiction are better put to use to help women who medicate their emotions with food or who struggle through life carrying the burden of having grown up in an alcoholic or otherwise dysfunctional home. While I still work as a life coach, the bulk of my practice is now in person therapy and counselling here in Ottawa.

Check this new blog: emotionaleating-ottawa.blogspot.com.

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.

http://www.eftottawa.com/

Which area of your life could use a little pick-me-up? Let me guess. Is it the place where you feel least comfortable saying no? No to the boss who expects you to stay late without warning, no to the friend or family member who surely does not expect you to say no to a request. Or is it saying no to that too-big-too-sweet dessert? One way to make it easier to say no is to remember that doing so means you are saying yes to you, to what you need and want for yourself - more time, to be healthier, rest, fun - yes, it's ok to want more fun in your life.

Choose the area where it's most difficult for you to say no and, you guessed it, do a few rounds of EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) tapping. Do it a few times a day before you are faced with the yes or no decision. For example "Even though I find it difficult to say no to _____, I totally and completely love, accept and forgive myself." The more you will tap in advance, the easier it will be when the occasion happens to say no to the friend, the boss or the piece of cake.

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.
www.eftottawa.com

Part of my work both as a therapist and as a coach is to help my clients get more balance in their life. To take time to exercise, play, sleep sufficiently and last but not least time with their loved ones. And I do all of this, regularly, religiously, daily. What I find myself doing, once in a while, and it just happened now, on one of my days off, is to mentally calculate whether I have been productive enough. Shouldn't I do something I can measure like a bit of housekeeping, before I can feel I have the right to go out at one of my neighbourhood coffee shops for a good coffee and to read my book, The New Earth by E. Tolle (great reading, by the way).

Winding down from a full time job can be a challenge if the past 30 or 40 years of your life have been about being productive. Retiring soon? Do all you can to do it in phases - from a 5 day a week to 4 and then 3. This will help you transition. And if like me you find yourself almost feeling guilty for all that free time when you can just be, just be aware of it and go to your favorite coffee shop. See you later. I am on my way out.

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.
Therapist, coach, teacher
Addiction and Wellness expert

www.eftottawa.com

While all of us have blind spots - that is a lack of awareness of some parts of our personality or how some traits may work against us, we all have at least one "I am too..." It can be sensitive, or serious, or disorganized, or messy, or, or, or, or maybe it's a "not enough" this or that.

Choose the one "too" or "not enough" that you most use for yourself and do a few series of EFT tapping, "Even though I am too (insert), I totally and completely love and accept myself". Do the full sequence 10 times every day for the next 7 days.

For more information, you can check my website: www.eftottawa.com and visit the official EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) site: www.emofree.com

Enjoy Spring and enjoy your life more with EFT

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.

Hello again: after a great holiday in Mont-Tremblant and a not so good bout of the flu, I am back.

One of the most common comments I hear from my clients at the beginning of our therapy relationship using EFT is "I have done a lot of work on my issues". And most have done months, even years of therapy on major childhood and other issues. I then start asking questions, to first get to know them and to give me some clues. More and more questions and with each answer I usually ask, "On a scale of 0 to 10, what is the emotional intensity of this?" "! Oh!, almost nothing, 3 or 4, sometimes, I get "Not much 5 or 6". By the time I stop asking questions and wrting down the intensity level of stuff, my client is amazed to see that there is still a mountain of unresolved stuff, but because it's often much smaller than what they started with, they assume it's not important.

If you still find yourself stuffing yourself it means that you have succeeded to minimize what's bothering you but you have not resolved it.

EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) can free you of those small mountains of stuff that are keeping you in the cookie (or cake or pizza or chips) jar.

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.
http://www.eftottawa.com

It's so tempting to believe that the new miracle diet will make you lose the weight you have accumulated during the past 5, 10 or 20 years. Just like you can't gain 20 pounds in one weekend, you can't lose it either in one weekend or one week, at least if you hope not to gain it back as soon as you start eating normally. If you want to lose weight, the slower the loss, the longer you will keep it off.

Next time you find yourself reaching for the box of cookies or the chips or ..., use EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) on your craving. Be patient with yourself.

I presently have a client who had lost more than 75 pounds with a well publicized "medical" diet program. Unfortunately, as soon as she stopped the 800 calories a day diet, she gained more than she had lost. I have worked with her on past traumas regularly with EFTand my client has lost 15 pounds in the past 3 months. That's just 1. something pound a week. Slow, yes. Healthy, also a yes. EFT has helped her clear the traumas from her past that triggered the anxiety that was at the root of her emotional eating.

No diet can bring you to a healthy weight for long. If you are an emotional eater, take care of the emotions.

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.
EFT Adv.

www.eftottawa.com
www.canadascoach.com

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Do you procrastinate? Do you avoid doing today what you can do tomorrow? Not everything of course, but some. I just found myself procrastinating. The object of my avoidance: completing my income tax report. Usual. Absolutely for that task. Looking at what is behind this task, I have found the following: getting organized, doing something to respect someone's deadline (the government), finding that even if I already paid a lot of income tax, I could owe even more. Some other reasons for procrastination could be not feeling capable, having so much more urgent things to do, fatigue and many others.

Once you realize you procrastinate, you can use EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) on all the aspects:

"Even if I hate doing this (cleaning, income tax report, business call, etc.),
I totally and completely love, respect, value and forgive myself"

Write down what is true for you about the avoided task and tap for each aspect.

Have a good day - I am off getting my paperwork together for my income tax report.

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.
www.eftottawa.com
www.canadascoach.com

EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) is one step closer to being better known. A forward-thinking movie producer has just completed a full length movie about EFT. You can see a trailer at http://www.tryitoneverything.com/ and the movie CD is available for purchase for $29.95.

If you are curious about EFT but not yet ready to invest in hiring a professional, visit http://www.tryitoneverything.com/ to get your do-it-yourself version. Remember that EFT is in the experimental stage and that if you have any trauma in your past, it is advised to work with a professional.

While you can't leave comments on this blog, do email me your success stories with EFT at:
marguerite (at) canadascoach.com (I write it this way to fool spammers).

Good luck and good EFT

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.
http://www.eftottawa.com/
http://www.canadascoach.com/

One easy way to integrate EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) in your life is to start using it before bedtime. Most of us meet with frustrations, delays, difficult people and situations as part of our days. We then bring that stuff home and try as we may, we find ourselves with less than relaxing thoughts. Often these thoughts show up at bedtime, once the noises have quieted down and we start tossing and turning and sleep can be a long time coming. EFT to the rescue.

There are two ways to do this. The first one is to take some time during the evening and write down in point form all the unpleasant people, .events, emotions of the day and before turning the lights off, EFT each and everyone of them. The second day is to go to bed 15 minutes or so earlier than your regular time, review your day and anytime a negative thought comes up, EFT it and go to the next.

Good luck and tap, tap, tap


Marguerite Tennier, M.A.

www.canadascoach.com

www.eftottawa.com

If like some of my clients you find yourself doing EFT for a little while, a few weeks maybe, and getting some results and then realize you have not done it for a while, what could be the reason?
We human beings are complex beings and we sometimes catch ourselves holding on to pain or anger because doing so makes us feel good. It validates us.

So what can you do when you find yourself swimming in either anger or pain? That's when having a buddy you can confide in can help. Especially if you have shared with that friend how EFT works. Your friend will most likely remind you to do some tapping.

My recommendation for you today: tell all your friends about EFT. Give them the information about the official website (www.emofree.com) and my site www.eftottawa.com.

I have also heard that the TLC tv station will air an EFT program starting March 24. Check your local listings and tell all your friends.

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.

http://www.canadascoach.com
http://www.eftottawa.com

As you may have read on my website (www.eftottawa.com) or on the official website of EFT www.emofree.com, EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) works in about 80-85% of the cases. That leaves 15% where EFT is not very effective. I have been witness to that: the pain in my knees has diminished by at least 60%, but was totally ineffective for a headache (mine) a few weeks ago and I have no idea why. Some possible reason may be that I would have needed to EFT the underlying emotion linked to that headache. This also shows how that could have been a blind spot of mine.

If you practice EFT on yourself and it does not seem to work, take a moment to see if there are some strong emotions or upsetting event linked to your physical pain. Journalling is a very good tool to use to keep track of what's happening in your life and may provde clues as to what needs to be EFT'd.

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.
http://www.eftottawa.com
http://www.canadascoach.com

February is Heart month and not just in the Valentine's day aspect. Our heart is a very important piece of equipment. Just like the motor of your car, if the heart goes, all goes.
Even if you don't have genetic risk factors, the lifestyle choices you make account for about fifty percent of the health of your heart.

Fast food is one of the worst culprits when it comes to heart health. Fast food is fat food of the worst kind and is probably responsible for the ever growing cases of obesity. If you are a woman, around 1800 to 2000 calories a day is just about right, with no more than 65 gr of fat daily. Healthier recommendations put the grams of fat at no more than 40 to 50 a way, while Dr. Ornish's heart health program limits fats to something like 10 to20 gr of fat daily.

I don't often eat fast food, but once a year or so I indulge in a fry from McD, or a hamburg from Harvey's or a quarter chicken from a well known rotisserie. I was appaled last week when I learned that my quarter chicken meal contained more than 1200 calories and 74 gr of fat. This is two-thirds of my daily calorie intake and more than a full day's fat intake.

If you do just one think for your heart: stop eating out and definitely cut out junk fast food. The upside of eating at home more often is you will save a lot of money to travel during all those years you will add to your life.

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.
Wild Wellness and Confidence

www.eftottawa.com

www.canadascoach.com

"Love is the dessert of the soul." Debbie Ford

Love, my definition: to accept as is.

Chances are you belong to the majority of people who think that they must earn love. Like you may have when you were a child and felt that mom or dad only loved you if ...

Change the ritual. Use today, the Love Day of the year, to give yourself all the love in the world. Love everything about you, even the parts you want to change. Even the things you did you would rather forget.

To end the day on a love note, try writing yourself a love letter. I say try because I know how emotional you will be to do this exercise. Write it like you would write it to your best friend. Give yourself understanding and compassion. Share your dreams. How do I know this? Because I did it. At the end of my training as a Fearless Living coach, we went through this exercise. It's a way to learn intimacy. How can you accept someone else's words of love if you won't give it to yourself. Keep that letter and read it often.

Have a great Valentine's day.

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.

www.eftottawa.com
www.canadascoach.com

Change is not easy. I seem to remember that I have mentioned this before. And the older we get, the more difficult it becomes. This is easy to see with pets. Get a puppy and it's fairly easy to train. Get an older dog with bad manners and you are in for a long training period, unless you can hire a good trainer. But even an older dog can learn new tricks, and so can we.

Are you set in your ways? If so, being open to trying new approaches to feel better may be quite a challenge for you. Doing EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) is a stretch for many people and I can absolutely understand how you feel. I used to feel the same way. It reminds me of the story of the Apostle Thomas.

If you are a "Thomas", do an experiment this week. Review the procedure for doing EFT and practice it, without any reason at all. Just use : Even if I don't believe in this stuff, I totally love and accept myself. Do the sequence 10 times and see how you feel after (besides feeling a bit silly).

Your EFT coach and therapist

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.
http://www.eftottawa.com

As you have seen from previous postings, I am amazed at the effectiveness of Emotional Freedom Techniques to clear deep and long standing painful emotional states and physical pain. EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) is also a great tool for anyone. All of us face small frustrations and disappointments from time to time and we can use EFT just about anywhere - OK - if you are in public, find a quiet spot or use a bathroom stall. In just about 2 to 5 minutes, you can get yourself from frazzled to calm and as cool as cucumber.

Why bother for small frustrations? Because even small amount of stress hormones cause damage to your system

To learn more about EFT's many uses, visit my site: http://www.eftottawa.com

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.
EFT Coach and psychotherapist

http://www.canadascoach.com
http://www.eftottawa.com

Hello to all of you who stop by to read my musings. Another month has gone by and even though I had resolved (resolution??) to post more often, life happened. More specifically, I have spent the last month planning a big life change. Because the change has far reaching ramifications, I needed much quiet time to weigh the pros and cons of my decision.

I was able to take a bird's eye view of my decision process. One thing that came up repeateadly is fear. Oh! not dressed as fear. Most days, it came up as reason, urging me to "be reasonable, things are not that bad", or procrastination "take your time, don't rush" even though I have been thinking about it for a couple of months. "What if you make a mistake?" came up almost daily?

If you have been thinking about making a change for a while, you may recognize your own thoughts in the above. By all means, do your homework. Don't be reckless. If you find yourself turning and re-turning the same issue in your head over and over, talk to someone. Make certain though that you do not speak to people who are stuck in their own life. One way to recognize them is that they are the people who complain a lot, those who are the eternal planners but never take action.

What does this have to do with passion? Fear and passion make poor bed fellows. Fear kills passion.

So if you are someone who wonders how to feel passion, examine how you let fear run your life.

You can start using EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) to decrease the intensity of your fears. You can learn more about Emotional Freedom Techniques on my website: http://www.eftottawa.com .

You can download the free eft manual from the official Emotional Freedom Techniques website http://www.emofree.com

Your EFT coach

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.

http://www.eftottawa.com

Making wishes and dreaming is easy. Even setting goals is easy. However, if you stop at that point and hope that it will happen magically, you are setting yourself up for failure. Imagine that you are at the bottom of a hill and you want to reach the restaurant at the top. Of course, you know that you have to put one foot in front of the other and start the climb.

However in the life of our goals and dreams, we often fail to take the next step, however small it may be.

What secret or not so secret wish do you have for 2008?

Challenge: Write down what your goal is and write what steps are needed to achieve it. Better yet, only write down one step you are willing to take during January, toward your goal. Just one step. If you achieve this first step before the end of January, then write what's next. Keep following this recipe until all the ingredients have been added. You will then find yourself very close to making things happen, almost magically!

If you find yourself stuck at any point, follow the Emotional Freedom Techniques (http://www.emofree.com/) to take care of the interfering feelings.

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.

http://www.canadascoach.com/

Coming soon:
http://www.eftottawa.com/

P.S. The beautiful woodpecker that showed up on Christmas Day came back today, unfortunately not long enough to be photographed. Maybe next time.

Good morning and Merry Christmas to all. Buon Natale a tutti! Joyeux Noel à tous.
It's 8 a.m. and as I sit to drink my cafe latte before finishing the dishes for our family feast this afternoon, I catch the glimpse of a big bird outside my living room window. It's as big as a crow, but wonder, it's not. It holds onto the light pole for a brief moment and it's a woodpecker. Gorgeous bird, with a bright red "hat". A quick look at one of my books tells me it's a Pileated Woodpecker, a bird that normally lives in the forest and occasionally visits urban centers. What a gift on this beautiful quiet morning.

What I wish you for this day and throughout the year is to be open to unexpected gifts, whether a rare bird, a convenient parking spot or a short line at the checkout!

Have a beautiful day

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.

http://www.canadascoach.com

Coming soon:

http://www.eftottawa.com

This is the time for spending! Just kidding, but barely. If you live anywhere in the Western world, you are being bombarded with invitations to spend. And spend you do. Regular folks - not the rich and famous - spend thousands of dollars on credit, that they take the following twelve months to repay. Big stores now use the "this is the time for giving" as in giving to the less fortunate - as their marketing ploy to get people feel good about spending more. If you have a pet, you will be made to feel a better owner if you also give to your pet, so " the dear little one will feel part of the celebrations".

Don't get me wrong, I am no Scrooge. However, if you fall for the commercialism of the Season at the expense of your retirement fund, your kids' college education or if you have to borrow to spend, or even worse, if you take food money, then you have become a victim of the very powerful marketing machine. But a victim you do not have to remain. The moment you become aware, are honest with yourself and decide to take action, you become free.

Instead of spending big money, try to see what activity you can plan with your loved ones. Depending on the age of your kids, plan a day skating, or a visit to the Wave Pool, a couple of hours at the Mud Oven (where you can each paint a piece that is then fired in their oven). Let your imagination run free - litterally!

Marguerite
Wishing you a good pre-Christmas week

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.

http://www.canadascoach.com/

Coming soon:

http://www.eftottawa.com/

What does the Christmas Season mean for you? If you answer busyness, spending money (and getting those bills in January), and generally running around tired or exhausted with so many things to do, think again. It does not have to be that way. You can make the Season what you want it to be: time for great meals with family and friends. Time to practice your favorite sport. Time to sit down and watch one of the Christmas specials on TV with a bowl of popcorn with your loved ones. What's good about older movies is that they usually have a slower pace and this also helps to get off the speed highway.

Are you living the way you want to live or by Society's rules? Are you ready for this change? Take time every day between today and the New Year, even just 10 minutes, to reconnect with who you are.

Until my EFT site is up, you can visit: www.emofree.com and learn the EFT technique to help you get calmer. You can also send me an email if you are interested to work with me using EFT.

Your coach

Marguerite

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.
Counselling and coaching for women

Wild Wellness and Confidence
Your Inner Lion Queen Transform-Action


http://www.canadascoach.com/

Coming soon:
http://www.eftottawa.com/