Friday, July 30, 2004
Fear Junkies
If you have read Fearless Living: Live without Excuses, Love without Regret by Rhonda Britten, you already know what a fear junky is. I mentioned my plan of moving to a couple of people last week. Two of those are people who have let fear dictate their life in a big way. Sadly, both have stayed in pretty bad marriages where there was infidelity and verbal violence because the thought of making it on their own was too scary and they did not want to "lose their nice house". Both still carry the scars of their years on the battlefield - very disconnected from what they feel and want and chronic depression. Both tried to convince me that I "should" not leave after all the work I put in, that I "should" stay to enjoy all that painting I am doing. That I could lose money. Not once did they stop to hear what I was saying about not being happy.
We are all Fear Junkies at some point in our life. We often do it with our children because we are so scared something will happen to them - that they could fail or be unhappy. We end up being dream stealers.
Do you have Fear Junkies in your life? Are you a Fear Junky to someone else? Fear Junkies essentially pass on their own fear to others. If they "need" financial security, they will scare you with the possibility of losing money. (That's a big one). If they have never ventured beyond their own backyard, they will discourage you from travelling on your own. If they have always had a safe job, they will show you all that can go wrong if you decide to work for yourself. It's fairly easy to spot a Fear Junky. Once you know them, you usually don't envy them. You may envy some of the stuff they have, but you don't want to pay the price they have paid. This is different from someone who wakes you up if you are about to be reckless. But then, you usually know when you are about to be reckless.
Want to know where you stand? Being conscious of what you say, do and feel will show you when you are a Fear Junky. You will also recognize the Fear Junkies in your own life.
Marguerite Tennier
The coach who wants to change the world,
One Man at a Time
http://www.canadascoach.com
We are all Fear Junkies at some point in our life. We often do it with our children because we are so scared something will happen to them - that they could fail or be unhappy. We end up being dream stealers.
Do you have Fear Junkies in your life? Are you a Fear Junky to someone else? Fear Junkies essentially pass on their own fear to others. If they "need" financial security, they will scare you with the possibility of losing money. (That's a big one). If they have never ventured beyond their own backyard, they will discourage you from travelling on your own. If they have always had a safe job, they will show you all that can go wrong if you decide to work for yourself. It's fairly easy to spot a Fear Junky. Once you know them, you usually don't envy them. You may envy some of the stuff they have, but you don't want to pay the price they have paid. This is different from someone who wakes you up if you are about to be reckless. But then, you usually know when you are about to be reckless.
Want to know where you stand? Being conscious of what you say, do and feel will show you when you are a Fear Junky. You will also recognize the Fear Junkies in your own life.
Marguerite Tennier
The coach who wants to change the world,
One Man at a Time
http://www.canadascoach.com
