Thursday, July 15, 2004

 

Clear communication

I just had a quick, clear, to the point communication, by phone, with Ken, my PC man. I shared the problem I had with my PC, he quickly diagnosed the problem and offered a solution. Then I learned he had answered his cell phone from somewhere in Nova Scotia. How wonderful if all our communications were this clear without any mis-interpretation or other mis-something.
How is your communication? If you are a leader, the quality of what you say and how you say it, as well as how you hear what is being said to you will greatly affect your leadership. The same principle applies in your personal relationships. The stakes while different, are as high in both situations.
Here are some causes for mis-communication:
1. Not being fully present because you are either not interested, or simply because you have other concerns on your mind.
2. Letting experiences of the past color what you hear. This often happens in personal relationships when your partner speaks and you assume he/she means something else because of past people and events in your life. The same can happen at work when someone offers a suggestion and you hear a criticism.
3. Lack of training. Leaders are often hired for their technical skills. Yet, to be an effective leader, you need to have those so-called soft skills.

Solution: If you recognize that communication has been a problem, commit to observing yourself for the next two weeks and take notes after each conversation. Practice asking questions instead of assuming you understand what the other person is saying (especially important in personal relationships, because "we see things as we are, not as they are".
Marguerite Tennier, M.A.
The coach who wants to change the world,
One Man at a Time
http://www.canadascoach.com

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