Ottawa Women's Coach

new blog: http://emotionaleating-ottawa.blogspot.com

2008-10-05T16:59:00.004-04:00

good afternoon to all of you from Ottawa to Singapour, Sydney, and everywhere in between. As you have noticed, I have been very quiet on this blog for the past while. I have focused on my psychotherapy practice and I have started a new blog about EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques)for adult daughters of alcoholic parents and emotional eating for overweight and/or obese women. My 20 years' experience in addiction are better put to use to help women who medicate their emotions with food or who struggle through life carrying the burden of having grown up in an alcoholic or otherwise dysfunctional home. While I still work as a life coach, the bulk of my practice is now in person therapy and counselling here in Ottawa.

Check this new blog: emotionaleating-ottawa.blogspot.com.

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.

http://www.eftottawa.com/

Saying yes, saying no

2008-05-25T09:05:00.003-04:00

Which area of your life could use a little pick-me-up? Let me guess. Is it the place where you feel least comfortable saying no? No to the boss who expects you to stay late without warning, no to the friend or family member who surely does not expect you to say no to a request. Or is it saying no to that too-big-too-sweet dessert? One way to make it easier to say no is to remember that doing so means you are saying yes to you, to what you need and want for yourself - more time, to be healthier, rest, fun - yes, it's ok to want more fun in your life.

Choose the area where it's most difficult for you to say no and, you guessed it, do a few rounds of EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) tapping. Do it a few times a day before you are faced with the yes or no decision. For example "Even though I find it difficult to say no to _____, I totally and completely love, accept and forgive myself." The more you will tap in advance, the easier it will be when the occasion happens to say no to the friend, the boss or the piece of cake.

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.
www.eftottawa.com

Boomers winding down

2008-05-22T14:45:00.003-04:00

Part of my work both as a therapist and as a coach is to help my clients get more balance in their life. To take time to exercise, play, sleep sufficiently and last but not least time with their loved ones. And I do all of this, regularly, religiously, daily. What I find myself doing, once in a while, and it just happened now, on one of my days off, is to mentally calculate whether I have been productive enough. Shouldn't I do something I can measure like a bit of housekeeping, before I can feel I have the right to go out at one of my neighbourhood coffee shops for a good coffee and to read my book, The New Earth by E. Tolle (great reading, by the way).

Winding down from a full time job can be a challenge if the past 30 or 40 years of your life have been about being productive. Retiring soon? Do all you can to do it in phases - from a 5 day a week to 4 and then 3. This will help you transition. And if like me you find yourself almost feeling guilty for all that free time when you can just be, just be aware of it and go to your favorite coffee shop. See you later. I am on my way out.

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.
Therapist, coach, teacher
Addiction and Wellness expert

www.eftottawa.com

Being too "this" or too "that" and Emotional Freedom Techniques

2008-05-15T08:44:00.002-04:00

While all of us have blind spots - that is a lack of awareness of some parts of our personality or how some traits may work against us, we all have at least one "I am too..." It can be sensitive, or serious, or disorganized, or messy, or, or, or, or maybe it's a "not enough" this or that.

Choose the one "too" or "not enough" that you most use for yourself and do a few series of EFT tapping, "Even though I am too (insert), I totally and completely love and accept myself". Do the full sequence 10 times every day for the next 7 days.

For more information, you can check my website: www.eftottawa.com and visit the official EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) site: www.emofree.com

Enjoy Spring and enjoy your life more with EFT

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.

Do you think you have resolved it all?

2008-05-10T15:22:00.002-04:00

Hello again: after a great holiday in Mont-Tremblant and a not so good bout of the flu, I am back.

One of the most common comments I hear from my clients at the beginning of our therapy relationship using EFT is "I have done a lot of work on my issues". And most have done months, even years of therapy on major childhood and other issues. I then start asking questions, to first get to know them and to give me some clues. More and more questions and with each answer I usually ask, "On a scale of 0 to 10, what is the emotional intensity of this?" "! Oh!, almost nothing, 3 or 4, sometimes, I get "Not much 5 or 6". By the time I stop asking questions and wrting down the intensity level of stuff, my client is amazed to see that there is still a mountain of unresolved stuff, but because it's often much smaller than what they started with, they assume it's not important.

If you still find yourself stuffing yourself it means that you have succeeded to minimize what's bothering you but you have not resolved it.

EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) can free you of those small mountains of stuff that are keeping you in the cookie (or cake or pizza or chips) jar.

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.
http://www.eftottawa.com

Weight loss miracles

2008-04-05T17:13:00.003-04:00

It's so tempting to believe that the new miracle diet will make you lose the weight you have accumulated during the past 5, 10 or 20 years. Just like you can't gain 20 pounds in one weekend, you can't lose it either in one weekend or one week, at least if you hope not to gain it back as soon as you start eating normally. If you want to lose weight, the slower the loss, the longer you will keep it off.

Next time you find yourself reaching for the box of cookies or the chips or ..., use EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) on your craving. Be patient with yourself.

I presently have a client who had lost more than 75 pounds with a well publicized "medical" diet program. Unfortunately, as soon as she stopped the 800 calories a day diet, she gained more than she had lost. I have worked with her on past traumas regularly with EFTand my client has lost 15 pounds in the past 3 months. That's just 1. something pound a week. Slow, yes. Healthy, also a yes. EFT has helped her clear the traumas from her past that triggered the anxiety that was at the root of her emotional eating.

No diet can bring you to a healthy weight for long. If you are an emotional eater, take care of the emotions.

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.
EFT Adv.

www.eftottawa.com
www.canadascoach.com

EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniqes) and procrastination

2008-03-30T15:44:00.002-04:00

Do you procrastinate? Do you avoid doing today what you can do tomorrow? Not everything of course, but some. I just found myself procrastinating. The object of my avoidance: completing my income tax report. Usual. Absolutely for that task. Looking at what is behind this task, I have found the following: getting organized, doing something to respect someone's deadline (the government), finding that even if I already paid a lot of income tax, I could owe even more. Some other reasons for procrastination could be not feeling capable, having so much more urgent things to do, fatigue and many others.

Once you realize you procrastinate, you can use EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) on all the aspects:

"Even if I hate doing this (cleaning, income tax report, business call, etc.),
I totally and completely love, respect, value and forgive myself"

Write down what is true for you about the avoided task and tap for each aspect.

Have a good day - I am off getting my paperwork together for my income tax report.

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.
www.eftottawa.com
www.canadascoach.com

Wonderful EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) news

2008-03-28T09:39:00.003-04:00

EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) is one step closer to being better known. A forward-thinking movie producer has just completed a full length movie about EFT. You can see a trailer at http://www.tryitoneverything.com/ and the movie CD is available for purchase for $29.95.

If you are curious about EFT but not yet ready to invest in hiring a professional, visit http://www.tryitoneverything.com/ to get your do-it-yourself version. Remember that EFT is in the experimental stage and that if you have any trauma in your past, it is advised to work with a professional.

While you can't leave comments on this blog, do email me your success stories with EFT at:
marguerite (at) canadascoach.com (I write it this way to fool spammers).

Good luck and good EFT

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.
http://www.eftottawa.com/
http://www.canadascoach.com/

EFT to wind down before bed

2008-03-19T17:21:00.003-04:00

One easy way to integrate EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) in your life is to start using it before bedtime. Most of us meet with frustrations, delays, difficult people and situations as part of our days. We then bring that stuff home and try as we may, we find ourselves with less than relaxing thoughts. Often these thoughts show up at bedtime, once the noises have quieted down and we start tossing and turning and sleep can be a long time coming. EFT to the rescue.

There are two ways to do this. The first one is to take some time during the evening and write down in point form all the unpleasant people, .events, emotions of the day and before turning the lights off, EFT each and everyone of them. The second day is to go to bed 15 minutes or so earlier than your regular time, review your day and anytime a negative thought comes up, EFT it and go to the next.

Good luck and tap, tap, tap

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.

www.canadascoach.com

www.eftottawa.com

Resistance to doing EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques)?

2008-03-10T18:50:00.003-04:00

If like some of my clients you find yourself doing EFT for a little while, a few weeks maybe, and getting some results and then realize you have not done it for a while, what could be the reason?
We human beings are complex beings and we sometimes catch ourselves holding on to pain or anger because doing so makes us feel good. It validates us.

So what can you do when you find yourself swimming in either anger or pain? That's when having a buddy you can confide in can help. Especially if you have shared with that friend how EFT works. Your friend will most likely remind you to do some tapping.

My recommendation for you today: tell all your friends about EFT. Give them the information about the official website (www.emofree.com) and my site www.eftottawa.com.

I have also heard that the TLC tv station will air an EFT program starting March 24. Check your local listings and tell all your friends.

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.

http://www.canadascoach.com
http://www.eftottawa.com

EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) and stubborn cases

2008-03-02T14:34:00.003-05:00

As you may have read on my website (www.eftottawa.com) or on the official website of EFT www.emofree.com, EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) works in about 80-85% of the cases. That leaves 15% where EFT is not very effective. I have been witness to that: the pain in my knees has diminished by at least 60%, but was totally ineffective for a headache (mine) a few weeks ago and I have no idea why. Some possible reason may be that I would have needed to EFT the underlying emotion linked to that headache. This also shows how that could have been a blind spot of mine.

If you practice EFT on yourself and it does not seem to work, take a moment to see if there are some strong emotions or upsetting event linked to your physical pain. Journalling is a very good tool to use to keep track of what's happening in your life and may provde clues as to what needs to be EFT'd.

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.
http://www.eftottawa.com
http://www.canadascoach.com

February is Heart Month

2008-02-18T13:33:00.002-05:00

February is Heart month and not just in the Valentine's day aspect. Our heart is a very important piece of equipment. Just like the motor of your car, if the heart goes, all goes.
Even if you don't have genetic risk factors, the lifestyle choices you make account for about fifty percent of the health of your heart.

Fast food is one of the worst culprits when it comes to heart health. Fast food is fat food of the worst kind and is probably responsible for the ever growing cases of obesity. If you are a woman, around 1800 to 2000 calories a day is just about right, with no more than 65 gr of fat daily. Healthier recommendations put the grams of fat at no more than 40 to 50 a way, while Dr. Ornish's heart health program limits fats to something like 10 to20 gr of fat daily.

I don't often eat fast food, but once a year or so I indulge in a fry from McD, or a hamburg from Harvey's or a quarter chicken from a well known rotisserie. I was appaled last week when I learned that my quarter chicken meal contained more than 1200 calories and 74 gr of fat. This is two-thirds of my daily calorie intake and more than a full day's fat intake.

If you do just one think for your heart: stop eating out and definitely cut out junk fast food. The upside of eating at home more often is you will save a lot of money to travel during all those years you will add to your life.

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.
Wild Wellness and Confidence

www.eftottawa.com

www.canadascoach.com

A day of love

2008-02-14T10:37:00.002-05:00

"Love is the dessert of the soul." Debbie Ford

Love, my definition: to accept as is.

Chances are you belong to the majority of people who think that they must earn love. Like you may have when you were a child and felt that mom or dad only loved you if ...

Change the ritual. Use today, the Love Day of the year, to give yourself all the love in the world. Love everything about you, even the parts you want to change. Even the things you did you would rather forget.

To end the day on a love note, try writing yourself a love letter. I say try because I know how emotional you will be to do this exercise. Write it like you would write it to your best friend. Give yourself understanding and compassion. Share your dreams. How do I know this? Because I did it. At the end of my training as a Fearless Living coach, we went through this exercise. It's a way to learn intimacy. How can you accept someone else's words of love if you won't give it to yourself. Keep that letter and read it often.

Have a great Valentine's day.

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.

www.eftottawa.com
www.canadascoach.com

Opening our mind to something different

2008-02-11T21:36:00.000-05:00

Change is not easy. I seem to remember that I have mentioned this before. And the older we get, the more difficult it becomes. This is easy to see with pets. Get a puppy and it's fairly easy to train. Get an older dog with bad manners and you are in for a long training period, unless you can hire a good trainer. But even an older dog can learn new tricks, and so can we.

Are you set in your ways? If so, being open to trying new approaches to feel better may be quite a challenge for you. Doing EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) is a stretch for many people and I can absolutely understand how you feel. I used to feel the same way. It reminds me of the story of the Apostle Thomas.

If you are a "Thomas", do an experiment this week. Review the procedure for doing EFT and practice it, without any reason at all. Just use : Even if I don't believe in this stuff, I totally love and accept myself. Do the sequence 10 times and see how you feel after (besides feeling a bit silly).

Your EFT coach and therapist

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.
http://www.eftottawa.com

The many uses of EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques)

2008-01-27T08:25:00.000-05:00

As you have seen from previous postings, I am amazed at the effectiveness of Emotional Freedom Techniques to clear deep and long standing painful emotional states and physical pain. EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) is also a great tool for anyone. All of us face small frustrations and disappointments from time to time and we can use EFT just about anywhere - OK - if you are in public, find a quiet spot or use a bathroom stall. In just about 2 to 5 minutes, you can get yourself from frazzled to calm and as cool as cucumber.

Why bother for small frustrations? Because even small amount of stress hormones cause damage to your system

To learn more about EFT's many uses, visit my site: http://www.eftottawa.com

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.
EFT Coach and psychotherapist

http://www.canadascoach.com
http://www.eftottawa.com

Get your passion back with EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques)

2008-01-24T07:54:00.000-05:00

Hello to all of you who stop by to read my musings. Another month has gone by and even though I had resolved (resolution??) to post more often, life happened. More specifically, I have spent the last month planning a big life change. Because the change has far reaching ramifications, I needed much quiet time to weigh the pros and cons of my decision.

I was able to take a bird's eye view of my decision process. One thing that came up repeateadly is fear. Oh! not dressed as fear. Most days, it came up as reason, urging me to "be reasonable, things are not that bad", or procrastination "take your time, don't rush" even though I have been thinking about it for a couple of months. "What if you make a mistake?" came up almost daily?

If you have been thinking about making a change for a while, you may recognize your own thoughts in the above. By all means, do your homework. Don't be reckless. If you find yourself turning and re-turning the same issue in your head over and over, talk to someone. Make certain though that you do not speak to people who are stuck in their own life. One way to recognize them is that they are the people who complain a lot, those who are the eternal planners but never take action.

What does this have to do with passion? Fear and passion make poor bed fellows. Fear kills passion.

So if you are someone who wonders how to feel passion, examine how you let fear run your life.

You can start using EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) to decrease the intensity of your fears. You can learn more about Emotional Freedom Techniques on my website: http://www.eftottawa.com .

You can download the free eft manual from the official Emotional Freedom Techniques website http://www.emofree.com

Your EFT coach

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.

http://www.eftottawa.com

This year's decisions

2008-01-06T09:29:00.000-05:00

Making wishes and dreaming is easy. Even setting goals is easy. However, if you stop at that point and hope that it will happen magically, you are setting yourself up for failure. Imagine that you are at the bottom of a hill and you want to reach the restaurant at the top. Of course, you know that you have to put one foot in front of the other and start the climb.

However in the life of our goals and dreams, we often fail to take the next step, however small it may be.

What secret or not so secret wish do you have for 2008?

Challenge: Write down what your goal is and write what steps are needed to achieve it. Better yet, only write down one step you are willing to take during January, toward your goal. Just one step. If you achieve this first step before the end of January, then write what's next. Keep following this recipe until all the ingredients have been added. You will then find yourself very close to making things happen, almost magically!

If you find yourself stuck at any point, follow the Emotional Freedom Techniques (http://www.emofree.com/) to take care of the interfering feelings.

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.

http://www.canadascoach.com/

Coming soon:
http://www.eftottawa.com/

P.S. The beautiful woodpecker that showed up on Christmas Day came back today, unfortunately not long enough to be photographed. Maybe next time.

Unexpected gift and a Merry Christmas to you

2007-12-25T09:22:00.000-05:00

Good morning and Merry Christmas to all. Buon Natale a tutti! Joyeux Noel à tous.
It's 8 a.m. and as I sit to drink my cafe latte before finishing the dishes for our family feast this afternoon, I catch the glimpse of a big bird outside my living room window. It's as big as a crow, but wonder, it's not. It holds onto the light pole for a brief moment and it's a woodpecker. Gorgeous bird, with a bright red "hat". A quick look at one of my books tells me it's a Pileated Woodpecker, a bird that normally lives in the forest and occasionally visits urban centers. What a gift on this beautiful quiet morning.

What I wish you for this day and throughout the year is to be open to unexpected gifts, whether a rare bird, a convenient parking spot or a short line at the checkout!

Have a beautiful day

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.

http://www.canadascoach.com

Coming soon:

http://www.eftottawa.com

Financial health

2007-12-17T09:40:00.000-05:00

This is the time for spending! Just kidding, but barely. If you live anywhere in the Western world, you are being bombarded with invitations to spend. And spend you do. Regular folks - not the rich and famous - spend thousands of dollars on credit, that they take the following twelve months to repay. Big stores now use the "this is the time for giving" as in giving to the less fortunate - as their marketing ploy to get people feel good about spending more. If you have a pet, you will be made to feel a better owner if you also give to your pet, so " the dear little one will feel part of the celebrations".

Don't get me wrong, I am no Scrooge. However, if you fall for the commercialism of the Season at the expense of your retirement fund, your kids' college education or if you have to borrow to spend, or even worse, if you take food money, then you have become a victim of the very powerful marketing machine. But a victim you do not have to remain. The moment you become aware, are honest with yourself and decide to take action, you become free.

Instead of spending big money, try to see what activity you can plan with your loved ones. Depending on the age of your kids, plan a day skating, or a visit to the Wave Pool, a couple of hours at the Mud Oven (where you can each paint a piece that is then fired in their oven). Let your imagination run free - litterally!

Marguerite
Wishing you a good pre-Christmas week

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.

http://www.canadascoach.com/

Coming soon:

http://www.eftottawa.com/

Speed highway or the scenic route

2007-12-13T08:41:00.000-05:00

What does the Christmas Season mean for you? If you answer busyness, spending money (and getting those bills in January), and generally running around tired or exhausted with so many things to do, think again. It does not have to be that way. You can make the Season what you want it to be: time for great meals with family and friends. Time to practice your favorite sport. Time to sit down and watch one of the Christmas specials on TV with a bowl of popcorn with your loved ones. What's good about older movies is that they usually have a slower pace and this also helps to get off the speed highway.

Are you living the way you want to live or by Society's rules? Are you ready for this change? Take time every day between today and the New Year, even just 10 minutes, to reconnect with who you are.

Until my EFT site is up, you can visit: www.emofree.com and learn the EFT technique to help you get calmer. You can also send me an email if you are interested to work with me using EFT.

Your coach

Marguerite

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.
Counselling and coaching for women

Wild Wellness and Confidence
Your Inner Lion Queen Transform-Action

http://www.canadascoach.com/

Coming soon:
http://www.eftottawa.com/

One old pair of pants at a time

2007-12-02T09:53:00.000-05:00

Good morning to all readers around the world and to my fellow Canadians: keep warm. Winter is here to stay.

A lot has been written about clearning your closet to make space in your life. My take on this subject today will not require you to go through all your closets and drawers. You can start making space in your life by throwing away only one or two pieces of clothing: the clothes you often wear when you are home alone and you would never want to be seen in. It may be an old pair of baggy pants or a washed-down shirt.

You deserve better when you are in your own company. Either throw or give these unflattering clothes and get yourself a great outfit to wear at home. Something that flatters both your shape and your complexion. Casual does not have to mean ugly, too big, or too small or too whatever.

You deserve it.

If you are reluctant to follow this recommendation, I suggest you take steps to value yourself more, starting now.

Marguerite

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.

http://www.canadascoach.com

Coming soon:
http://www.eftottawa.com

Update, a note on "Prevention" and EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques)

2007-11-28T10:29:00.000-05:00

Good morning to everybody and to those of you who have emailed me wondering why I was being silent for sooo long. Five months. Life happened and I also took time to take further training, enjoy the summer and last but not least prepare for and travel for a month in Italy.

This was my first trip to Europe and I chose to travel solo. The thought of being part of a large group and having to first get up at the crack of dawn and follow made it easy for me to decide to travel alone, although I was slightly petrified at the thought of being alone in a foreign country for such a long time. But I am a Fearless Living coach!!!! So letting fear decide was not an option. I prepared as best as I could. Took an 8 week course to learn basic Italian and added an Italian TV station from Rome to my basic cablevision service. I listened to a lot of television since May, with my dictionary right beside me. I also made sure I made reservations for accommodation in each city I was planning to visit (http://www.travel.com/ is a great place to use).

My 28 day in Italy was wonderful - I landed in Rome and travelled by train to Venice, then Firenze (Florence), Sorrento - magnifique Sorrento, the Almafi Coast and back to Rome. It all went too fast and I secretly plan to return one day.

This trip was an incredible occasion to move out of my comfort zone. Because the fear was real. The last few nights before I left, I had nightmares. But like I said earlier, letting fear was just not an option. I feel incredibly more confident about traveling alone. I must say that some Fear Junkies were around to scare me when I announced my project. "Aren't you afraid, a woman alone, in Italy?" "You are brave" and many other such comments.

Are you slightly envious? Do you wish you could fulfill a dream? Are you letting fear decide? By the way, I became aware before I left that using the pain in my knees as an excuse that I could not travel to Italy..... Well, I used EFT (see below) and my knees survived a lot of walking. Be on the lookout for the excuses, I mean reasons, you tell yourself to justify not taking a risk.

Now, about prevention. I had the chance to experience first hand the famous Mediterranean diet - lots of good pasta, olive oil and fruits, vegetables, beans and fish - that pasta con frutti di mare - and a little bit of meat - of course gelato - the best in the world and those sinful croissants filled with cream with a cappucino for breakfast at Franco and Valentino on Via de Aranchi in Sorrento. What struck me most about food in Italy is that quality not quantity. And most Italians shun fast food and they walk a lot - which I also did and my weight remained stable. So my word about prevention is choose quality instead of quantity. Buy the best chocolate and eat one piece only. Cook the best meal and savour it. And of course, walk. A lot of walking a day will keep the doctor away.

Talking about keeping the doctor away, I continued my level II training in late August and I have not been able to stop using it or talking about it since. I have used it with clients for cravings, high levels of emotional distress and last but not least, chronic physical pain. In fact, I was my most satisfied client. I have advanced osteoarthritis in my knees with very little little cartilage left. Even if there is structural damage (my left left is slightly bowlegged), EFT helped me to clear whatever emotiona component I was storing there.

I will write more about EFT in a next post. . I have registered a site for my EFT practice (also a recent project) and will post it as soon as it is completed. In the meantime, if you want to learn more about it, visit http://www.emofree.com/, the official EFT website where you can read hundreds of articles on the many uses of EFT and you can also download the EFT manual at no charge.

Have a great day and
See you soon

Marguerite

Wild Wellness and Confidence
Your Inner Lion Queen Transform-Action

http://www.canadascoach.com/

Coming soon:
http://www.eftottawa.com/

Take a chance, somewhere, anywhere

2007-07-01T18:43:00.000-04:00

I first wanted to title this posting: 183 days left before 2008. But instead, I decided to share with you that taking a chance, a risk, moving out of your comfort zone in any area of your life will augment your confidence to move out of stuck places at other levels.

I recently wrote the producer of a big television production to offer my services, which not only was gutsy, but it would have also involved public speaking which is not one of my strengths. Well, the tv show did not want my services, thank you. At least not yet. However, the excitement generated by my gutsy move prompted me to take action about other things in my life.

The first action was to add in-person coaching and consulting to my business as well as to start a private practice as a psychotherapist to make my 19 years' experience in addiction and women's wellness of use for women who want to stop emotional eating and women whose life has been affected by the substance abuse of a parent.

There are 183 days left before 2008. Where do you feel frustrated and stuck? One suggestion: call or write someone you admire or someone you feel could give you great advice about your goals. The worst thing that can happen is that he or she does not take time to reply. But your confidence level will go up one notch, or two.

Your coach

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.
http://www.canadascoach.com

Fearless choices and Power of Attraction

2007-05-25T09:17:00.000-04:00

After about two months of moving, settling, including lots of boxes, problems with the internet connection and a holiday in Mont-Tremblant thrown in, I am back with energy, passion and news.

Starting July 1st, I am expanding my business by adding in person counselling in a downtown Ottawa office. I will offer counselling to professional women who want to be healthy physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

- Stress, time and energy management program for overworked executives
- Self-esteem and self-care for overweight women, health workers and natural caregivers
- Family of origin issues for women who have grown up in an alcoholic home and want to move out of their story, have clear boundaries and stop unhealthy patterns.

I will continue to offer Fearless Living coaching for women who want to stop sitting on the fence personally or professionally and to aging baby boomers who want to re-invent themselves not just retire.

Once again I must say I was amazed how things fell into place once I made a decision. Within three days of making the decision to open an office, the perfect place at the perfect price showed up. Other priceless information also came my way once I had made the decision.

Where in your life are you sitting on the fence? Besides being very uncomfortable, fence sitting is just that. It won't get you anywhere - except to the doctor's office maybe.

Coaching tip: Write down where you are dissatisfied in your life - next to it write down the number of months or God forbid, years you have been dissatisfied. How much longer will you tolerate it?

Your coach

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.
http://www.canadascoach.com

International Women's Day 2007

2007-03-08T11:44:00.000-05:00

WOW! Happy International Women's Day 2007 to ALL women around the world. Take out the best dishes and some party food and use the day to celebrate your accomplishments, today, March 8, 2007, International Women's Day.

When was the last time you stopped and took time to acknowledge yourself for your personal and professional accomplishments, your personal qualities, like your perseverance, your warm nature, your sensuality, your sense of responsibility, your courage, your audacity, your passionate nature, your patience, your intelligence, your idealism, your originality, your quirks (yes, that makes you unique), and all your other qualities ?

Most people, and especially women, are afraid to be perceived as show-off. It's one thing to try to impress the gallery and another to deny that you are fundamentally a wonderful human being with many great qualities. It really should not matter what others think of you, but what you think of yourself will make or break your day and your whole life.

Take a few minutes today to review all your accomplishments and all your positive qualities. One fun place to start is to find a description of your zodiac sign and make your own all the positive qualities of your sign.

I recently bought a coffee cup which lists some of the positive qualities of my sign, Aquarius. It's wonderful to start and end the day with a reminder that I am a wild, wonderful woman.

Your coach

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.

http://www.canadascoach.com

All changes start from the inside

2007-03-02T21:11:00.000-05:00

Do you find yourself back to square one? Do you feel all your attempts at changes fall flat?
Weight loss, for example, is an area where many start and most fail. Making some behaviour change without gaining more awareness and mindfulness is almost a sure way to fail.

Next time you are about to discourage yourself, stop and ask tough questions. Start with:
- What am I unwilling to admit?
- Where am I being irresponsible in my life?
- What's my benefit for not changing?
- Who would I need to be to do differently?

Your coach
Marguerite Tennier,M.A.
http://www.canadascoach.com

The Secret:The Law of Attraction

2007-02-11T14:16:00.000-05:00

One of the most difficult challenge for us, human beings, is to focus on what we want, not what we don't want.

There is a lot of buzz around the world these days about the Law of Attraction and about he new book and video, the Secret.
.
The Law of Attraction can be summarized in a few words: focus on what you want and take action. Unfortunately, we human beings want one thing but focus on the lack of it. We often assume that simply writing things down will magically change our world.

The secret behind The Secret: focus on the positive and take action.

Your coach

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.

Wild Wellness and Confidence Coaching
Your Inner Lion Queen Transform-Action

http://www.canadascoach.com

A system for your 2007 accomplishments

2007-01-22T09:43:00.000-05:00

What have you decided you want to accomplish in 2007? Have you taken consistent steps toward your goal since New Year's Day?

There are good chances that if you have set some goals also known as "resolutions" and you don't have either a system or a support system, you may find yourself at the end of 2007 without much progress.

One way you can set up a system is to use your day planner and block time for the following week to work on your project. What works great for me is to discipline myself to work on my project before I give myself permission to do a favorite activity - i.e. yoga before coffee, speech writing and practicing before going for a walk. Even doing whatever is important before I open my computer to check my emails.

This is one way you can make yourself accountable to yourself and make it more likely that you will celebrate the end of 2007 as the year you did what was truly important for you.

Your coach

Marguerite Tennier,M.A.

Wild Wellness and Confidence Coaching
Your Inner Lion Queen Transform-Action

http://www.canadascoach.com

T'was the last day of 2006

2006-12-30T09:53:00.000-05:00

"Don't blame others for your failures. You can only blame when you have handed your power away." Unknown author

I am happy to report that I have taken a huge step to make one of my goals a reality: I have made a large investment for public speaking coaching and training and I make a regular time investment to work on the program.

What were some of your goals for 2006? Have you taken steps to get closer to the success you want? There is a full day left before 2007 arrives. It still gives you over 24 hours to take that first step. It does not have to be huge. Maybe if you tell someone of your plan, it will motivate you to take the next step. Did it involve getting professional support? Email the coach of your choice (me?). Buy that book. Buy a journal and WRITE DOWN EXACTLY WHAT YOUR GOAL IS. Writing a goal makes it more real. If you do nothing else, write down your goal EVERY DAY for the next month. Look at it many times a day.

Have a fabulous New Year's Eve and celebrate with your family and friends. See you in 2007.

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.

Wild Wellness and Confidence Coaching
Your Inner Lion Queen Transform-Action
http://www.canadascoach.com

Do you floss?

2006-12-15T17:21:00.000-05:00

What an unusual question, from a coach. Seriously, do you follow your dentist's recommendation to floss daily? Chances are if you care about your teeth, you do.

Today, I am going to recommend that you take time for mental flossing. Just like you take time to remove potentially destructive left-overs from in between your teeth, mental flushing can also remove little or large chunks of the day mental left overs. You can do mental flossing by taking some quiet time to cleanse the day's frustrations, worries and overwhelm after work so you can be completely present to your life with your family.

Not certain how to start? One way is to keep your floss in full view and to anchor (mentally associate) that task with the thought of mental flossing. If you do it consistently for three weeks, the mere thought of teeth flossing will remind to do a mental floss.

Have a wonderful time during the coming Holidays and floss once daily, or as needed.

Your coach
Marguerite Tennier

Wild Wellness and Confidence Coaching
Your Inner Lion Queen Transform-Action

http://www.canadascoach.com

Not enough money

2006-11-18T15:53:00.000-05:00

The reason most people don't change jobs or take courses so that they can get a job they would enjoy is lack of a financial reserve. I am talking here about people who have good paying jobs and income, a house, sometimes two cars, a cell phone, cable, and a host of other gadgets. They tell me that all their income is accounted for to pay for credit card debts or the recent car purchase or a larger than life house. The one thing many people have in common is a lack of a financial cushion. This lack of a financial reserve prevents them from dealing with financial emergencies without resorting to expensive credit. It also prevents them from taking advantage of opportunities. In other words, it limits their choices. It's also why people with decent incomes can't afford to get a coach while some of my clients had more modest incomes, but had also built small or larger reserves of money and hiring a coach helped them get to the next level, whether it was a promotion, a large salary increase or another career.

Do you have a financial reserve?
Your coach,

Wishing you the discipline to build a strong financial reserve to increase your possibilities.

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.

Wild Wellness and Confidence Coaching
Your Inner Lion Queen Transform-Action

http://www.canadascoach.com

Detachment or keeping sane while house hunting

2006-11-03T14:41:00.000-05:00

November already. The last couple of weeks have been busy house hunting. What I fortunately remember of my Zen reading is the importance of not getting attached to possible outcomes or results. I am looking for a house and it became apparent that if I became attached to getting a specific condo, I would lose my ability to choose freely and to stop my offer at what I set it to be a fair value for me vs what the seller wants to get. Not getting attached comes from an abundance mentality in that there will be other condos on the market in my price range vs "Oh! I can't let this pass, what if I don't find another condo I like?".

Trying to force the outcome stems from fear instead of freedom.

Coaching tip: be aware of the areas of your life where you try to force the outcome and learn to trust that something better is on its way.

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.

http://www.canadascoach.com

Go at your own pace

2006-10-18T07:14:00.000-04:00

I just spent five glorious, even if rainy, days at my timeshare condo in Club Intrawest in Mont-Tremblant. My unit faced the golf course and three days in a row, I had the pleasure to admire beautiful animals of the four legged kind. One morning, I woke up early and saw four deers sleeping on the course. Slowly the mother got up and two kids followed. One kept on sleeping for another twenty minutes or so. The mother and the other siblings had moved about 100 feet and were just having breakfast. When the third kid got up and joined them, they disappeared behind the forest. Then later I saw two other deers getting up and slowly go toward the forest.

Even in the wild, to my great surprise, animals have their own rythm.

Coaching tip: do you know you when you are more productive? As much as possible, do you respect your needs in that aspect of your life? Make changes to your workday and organize your free time in ways that are best for YOU. Be a good animal.

Your coach

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.

Wild Wellness and Confidence Coaching
Your Inner Lion Queen Transform-Action

http://www.canadascoach.com

Try a change

2006-10-05T14:12:00.000-04:00

A funny thing happened to me yesterday. I got the confirmation that exercise and healthy eating do contribute to my sense of well being. I learned that by doing exactly the opposite.

Yesterday, I spent the day with colleagues, having a self-care day. A day partly spent with a Native Elder in an Aboriginal Centre in Ottawa, then eating a great lunch and doing craft - making a dream catcher. Totally relaxing and fun day.

I could not understand last evening why I was so tired after a fun day. Then it dawned on me. I had not taken my usual 20 minutes swim or walk break at lunch time and I had also not eaten my usual 5 - 7 portions of vegetables and fruits and, I had let myself become dehydrated. I only drank one small 4 oz glass of water at lunch time, instead of the litre or so I normally drink during the day.

Conclusion: No matter what your day entails, a break at lunch time is necessary to bring oxygen to your cells and increase your energy, what you eat matters and your body needs water.

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.
http://www.canadascoach.com

Being reasonable or settling???

2006-10-02T20:06:00.000-04:00

Are you settling or are you simply being realistic?

I just found myself falling for the former. I found a condomnium that had the perfect price. Then I reviewed some of my criteria: closeness to downtown and southern exposure. While the apartment met my first criterion, it did not meet the second one, but for a while - a short while - I tried to persuade myself that the price was so right.

Make a distinction: if you find yourself suddenly convincing yourself that your main criteria are not so important, after all, stop and ask yourself if you are ready to live with your choice for the long term - this questioning can save you an impulsive choice, for a home or a relationship!! You may just be settling.

Your coach
Marguerite Tennier, M.A.

http://www.canadascoach.com

September Wellness Tip

2006-09-23T17:34:00.000-04:00

Late September weather is an invitation to stay indoors more, curl up with a good book and enjoy more nourishing food. Going for a walk, a swim or a bicycle ride seems more of an effort when it's both cold and raining.

Don't let the weather interfere with your wellbeing. Set a goal of the number of minutes you want to exercise every week - I set 210 minutes as my goal - that's 30 minutes seven times a week. O.K., I don't reach that goal every week, but it happens often enough when I add up walking, swimming and ballroom dancing and lots of stairs.

Your coach

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.
http:
http://www.canadascoach.com

Wellness tip

2006-09-18T12:28:00.000-04:00

Taking a break at lunch time can do a lot for you. First, it will help you to recover from the work related stress. And getting out of the building at lunch time will ensure you get more sunshine and Vitamin D which as as a protector against MS, diabetes, hypertension and some cancers. If you live anywhere in the Northern hemisphere, you need to up your intake of D by spending some time in the sun most days. Ten minutes a day from early Spring until late Fall is great. Then continue in winter - being outside will do wonder for your outlook on life.

Your coach

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.,

http://www.canadascoach.com

The coach for women who want to be
Bolder and Healthier

Thinking big or shrinking your dreams?

2006-09-14T14:55:00.001-04:00

What do you really want? Often when I ask that question to my clients, I get very reasonable answers. Answers based more on what they think "should" be enough, answers that sound and look reasonable.

Reality is that most of us were brought up by people who themselves had their wings clipped young. So when at age 5 you said you were going to be a doctor, or a prime minister or an astronaut, chances are, your parents tried to make you understand that this was cute, but not very realistic.

What is your dream? Imagine you are about 4 years old. What would you want to be and do when you grow up? Let yourself dream. Don't let age or education stand in the way. Just dream. Then take the first step to move toward that dream, because it's the process that counts. Have fun along the way. There are no guarantees anyway.

Your coach
Marguerite Tennier

http://www.canadascoach.com

Thinking big or shrinking your dreams?

2006-09-14T14:55:00.000-04:00

Fearless Leadership

2006-09-08T10:02:00.000-04:00

I had an experience with a large organization last week which indicated once more how investing in employee development is crucial but often forgotten. The product I had purchased left a lot to be desired and I expressed my dissatisfaction, pointing to the specific and offering information about making it more user friendly. The manager of the department did not listen. Instead, she argued and tried to show that I was wrong. I left and remembered how this particular organization has come under fire in the recent months and how it could benefit by teaching it's managers some good customer service. But even in that outfit, the encounter could have ended very differently. If the manager had higher confidence, she would not have felt personally attacked and she would have been open to the suggestion. She definitely would not have tried to prove me, the client, wrong.

Do you get defensive? Do you take things personally? Do you often get mad, angry? Do you often feel criticized? There is a good chance that your Inner Critic is running the show. Great managers and leaders are self-aware and don't let the personal run their professional life.

Working with a Fearless Living coach to gain more awareness and develop your Emotional Intelligence can make a huge difference in your well being (and that of others).

Your coach
Marguerite Tennier, M.A.

Wild Wellness and Confidence Coaching
Your Inner Lion Queen Transform-Action

http://www.canadascoach.com

Feel guilty and say no, anyway

2006-08-30T21:54:00.000-04:00

It is so easy to be sucked in to saying yes when you really want to say no. Especially if the person asking is close to you. Or if he is in a position of authority. Or if she is always so nice to you. Of if it's not a big request. Or, or, or. It reminds me of the story of the frog in warm water that does not have the reflex to jump and ends up cooked. It just got used to the water getting warmer and warmer and warmer.

If accommodating others is your default position in life, you are most likely shortchanging yourself. You would feel guilty you say? Well, feel guilty. If you wait until you don't feel guilty to put yourself at the top of your list of priority, don't hold your breath my friend.

This week I spoke with a friend, corporate exec. who confessed she never takes her allotment of vacation days. Not even close.

What have you been denying yourself? I am not speaking about breaking the bank here. Just to take what's rightfully yours. Remember even God took one day off every week and probably a few weeks here and there that we never heard about.

Go practice saying no or saying yes to yourself

Your coach

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.
http://www.canadascoach.com

Use a self-care journal

2006-08-16T16:10:00.000-04:00

Tip of the month: If you find yourself slipping on your way to Extreme Self-Care, buy a small journal and use it to plan your self-care activity (or lack of it).
Choose what daily activities you want to include in your life, list them in your journal every day and check them as you complete them. You can also do the same for your exercise, strength training, sit-up, push-up, cardio.

I am on holidays now and I find this helps me keep on track. It does happen that I miss a day and that's ok. As long as you do it 3 or 4 days a week, you're doing ok.

Your coach
Marguerite Tennier, M.A.

http://www.canadascoach.com

Follow your own advice

2006-08-09T08:28:00.000-04:00

I am following my own advice about self-care.

Between July 15 and September 15, I will have worked a total of 6 days, which leaves over 50 days, yes, that's fifty days of pure holiday bliss during my favorite time of the year, one month of it in a secluded cabin (perfect for lots of reading, sleeping and swimming or simply listening to the leaves moving in the wind or watching the birds) in the country by the water near the quaint town of Perth, Ontario. I believe that any woman with kids deserves a month by herself just like she deserves that little red dress. I have read almost a novel a day, something I had not done since my children were born and I used to take their nap time as my reading time.

But, I found myself feeling almost guilty of such indulgence until I mentioned it to one of my daughters and she quickly set me straight with words that meant: Don't waste your time feeling guilty, mom. Enjoy.

My challenge to you: Give yourself some extra self-care before the end of the summer. Maybe a weekend get-away, or an extra long weekend including both Friday AND Monday, a massage a week until September, a cleaning lady before the Fall get-back-to-work or to-school time, good catered food, a weekend without any errands or housecleaning, just your favorite stuff. I know, you feel guilty for taking that time. But do it anyway. Your body and your mind will thank you for it.

Your coach, who is going back to the cabin

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.

http://www.canadascoach.com

Work can be hazardous to your health

2006-07-27T14:50:00.000-04:00

This is summer in my corner of the world and I am enjoying it to the max. I hope you are also enjoying the outdoors and all activities you love.

Yes, work can be and is often hazardous to your health. Not just for people who work in physically dangerous environments but for everyone who work in offices and corporations that use fear, bullying and unreasonnable deadlines and workloads. Work is also dangerous for your health if you feel you don't have a choice.

Not thinking we have a choice is the biggest lie we tell ourselves. We mostly always have a choice. What we need to say honestly is that we are more willing to live with the present consequences - be it stress, loss of spirit, etc. than the unknown ones.

Are you looking forward to returning to work after your holidays? If not, look at your options. If you don't see any and you are not ready to work with a coach, ask a good friend to force you to think.

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.
http://www.canadascoach.com

How ambitious are you?

2006-07-05T14:09:00.000-04:00

Are you ambitious? A little? Much? If you are a woman, there is a good chance that the word ambitious makes you a little or very uncomfortable even in 2006. And the sad fact is, if you view ambition negatively, it will most surely affect the level of success you will achieve.

As long as you view ambition as selfish or bad, you make it very difficult for yourself to put what is truly important for yourself at the top of your list of priorities.

Ambition varies. Someone's ambition may be to find a 6 figure income. Someone else's may be to get a 4 day week job so that she may spend time developing her painting skills or spending more time with her children or reading to her heart's content. And it takes as much courage to declare we want less money and more time as it does to want the CEO position.

What is truly important for you? Are you giving your honoring what you truly want?

Make this week memorable. Make one declaration of ambition:

"What I want for myself is _____________________________. To achieve it, I will______________________, by _________________(date).

Your coach

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.

Wild Wellness and Confidence Coaching
Your Inner Lion Queen Transform-Action

http://www.canadascoach.com

2006-06-01T10:19:00.000-04:00

Hello again: I have been quiet in my writing activities in the recent month as I explored other areas of my work and registered a business name that tells more clearly what I do. In Canada, specifically in Ontario, you can do business under your own name without registering it witht the government. However, if you even add one word, like Coaching, it needs to be registered.

I will from now on do business under the name: Wild Wellness and Confidence Coaching - Your Inner Lion Queen Transform-Action.

Are you thinking about making some changes? Are you moving forward or do you find yourself in circular thinking - getting back to square one and not seeing any way out? If so, you may need to strengthen your Personal Foundation. Some ways to strengthen your personal foundation include to clarify your needs and your values and committing to finding ways to get your needs met and to live by your values. Other areas of Personal foundation include making space and time, taking better care of yourself and learning to set limits.

This kind of inner work allows you to gain the confidence to make the changes you have been thinking about. This is the kind of coaching I offer - also called developmental coaching, as opposed to simply making superficial changes.

Curious? Email me for more no-obligation information. marguerite@canadascoach.com

Your coach

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.
http://www.canadascoach.com

Mother's Day 2006 and knowing when to quit

2006-05-14T10:15:00.000-04:00

Happy Mother's Day to myself and to all of you mothers. I also want to send my heartfelt wishes to those of you who don't have mothers or who have been cheated in that department because your mom was not there for you. This is a day to give to yourself all the nurturing and love you can possibly can.

Did you ever hear "It won't kill you to just ..." While it's true that many things won't kill us, I invite you today to ask yourself whether to do or continue some work, relationship or behaviour could possibly "kill your spirit". Next time you are tempted to use the former, ask the latter: "Will it kill my spirit if I...." If the answer is yes, then it's definitely time to quit.

Have a great day

Your coach
Marguerite

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.,
http://www.canadascoach.com

Spring cleaning: Keeping track of your investments

2006-05-12T10:42:00.000-04:00

Good morning: Watching the tree tops turn varying shades of green I am happy to report that I love days like today: there is a light rain, the weather is comfortably cool and the sky is a clear grey. A great day to stay indoors and attend to business.

Do you keep track of your investments? I don't just mean your financial investments like your registered savings plans or your IRA or savings accounts. If you are like me, you invest more than money. You invest time in activities and people. You invest money - or so you may say, in activities, learning, stuff like cars, house, study, fun, and a myriad of other things.

Hopefully, your financial investments are bearing fruits and growing. What about your other investments? Are they bearing fruits or do they end up being just expenses? Nothing wrong with expenses like a great hair cut or a well planned holiday but are you getting benefits of where you "invest" yourself, your time and your money or do you find yourself pouring resources in a bottomless pit?

Are there areas of your life that could benefit from more investments? Finishing your degree? Taking a specialized course to advance your career, going in therapy to heal the past, buying sport equipment and playing outside more?

As you do some spring cleaning - whether it's your closet, your windows or your car (my three priorities), take some time to review and revise all your life's investments.

Have a great weekend

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.
http://www.canadascoach.com

R&R or Rest and relaxation - your game is your life

2006-05-07T11:27:00.000-04:00

To read today's entry, please visit my website: http://www.canadascoach.com and click on the Workshops/classes item. or go directly to http://margueritetennier.blogspot.comAfter a month off, I was absent minded and wrote it on that blog instead of the Changing the World Coach.

Your absent minded coach
Marguerite

http://www.canadascoach.com

Non-stop cardio

2006-03-28T15:15:00.000-05:00

Are you always on the run? Signs you are vary: you run late often if not always; your medical keeps on being postponed; you often work overtime at night and bring work home on the weekend or regularly drive to work for a couple of hours of work on the weekend; you don't necessarily feel tired, you just don't feel much; your mind constantly runs, reminding you of things you need to do; you need to get away for your holidays, because you just don't know how to simply relax at home, etc. etc. etc.

I am on holidays this week - at home, relaxing, reading, doing some work and relaxing some more. I went swimming today and found myself rushing to get the most laps done in the shortest amount of time. I need to do cardio but today I had already rushed doing errands in a a few stores and what I needed was to just breathe. I slowed down and practiced slow, deep breathing. A couple of laps at that reduced speed and I could feel the stress of the morning falling off.

Rushing all the time does not count as your cardio, so by all means, do your cardio, whether you run, speedwalk, dance or swim. If you recognize yourself in the description above, add a couple of minutes at a much slower pace and do a dozen slow, deep breaths. To be on the safe side, do the slow, deep breathing even if you feel you're not Miss Type A. To your health.

Your coach
Marguerite Tennier

http://www.canadascoach.com

Results

2006-03-14T08:56:00.000-05:00

Do you sometimes ask yourself whether you should continue what you are doing? Continue in the job? Continue in the relationship? In your business?

One of the best ways to help you answer the question is to look at the long term results you are getting? Are you getting the results you want? If not, why not? If you have a new business, are you following your business plan? If you are and the results are not matching, what do you need to change?

All endeavours require work - be it a job, a relationship and definitely a business, and at some point, you should see results.

Women are especially good at hoping that things will change and we often don't know when to call it quits until our physical health is affected. Monitor how you feel on a daily basis and set deadlines.

Give everything a chance but remember to know when it's time to change course.

Your coach
Marguerite Tennier, M.A.

http://www.canadascoach.com

Attention deficit.

2006-03-10T15:20:00.000-05:00

Do you sometimes feel you are developing an attention deficit problem? You are not alone and it has nothing to do with you. We are bombarded daily with hundreds of advertisements, in the newspapers, in your mailbox, on your computer, by phone and even at the door. Companies spend billions annually to try to get your business. This constant assault tempts you to spend more but it is also an assault on your mind.

If you are stretched for time, make a conscious effort this week to bypass any advertisement. Turn down the sound during commercials on TV, watch less TV, much less, screen your calls and if you do answer telemarketers, ask them to take your name off their list, stop reading the newspaper for a week, throw all junk mail/flyers without looking at it.

By taking simple steps, you will bring more silence and peace in your life and regain precious minutes.

Your coach
Marguerite Tennier

http://www.canadascoach.com

Your gut never lies

2006-03-05T08:20:00.000-05:00

"Whenever you have to consult with other people for an answer, you're headed in the wrong direction." Oprah, O, The Oprah Magazine, March 2006

Good morning on this beautiful, almost Spring Sunday.

When I look back on my life's biggest decisions, from choosing to fall in love (yes, there is a choice there), buying a house, deciding to take a leave of absence from work to attend university fulll time, studying to become a coach or leaving a relationship, divorcing, selling a house and moving, I see that when I trusted my guts, it was the right decision. The love or friendship may not have been reciprocated or lasted a lifetime, the house may have had a few drafts, school required some sacrifices and divorce a few challenges, but when choices are gut-based (read intuition, heart),I had the strength to face the challenges inherent in any decision.

On the other hand, when I thought about making a decision and found it necessary to ask someone's opinion, which I must confess did not happen often, it was because somewhere the choice was not a perfect fit.

Following your gut does not mean guaranteed results, but it will give you an extreme sense of satisfaction and it is a sure way to strengthen your decision-making muscles.

Your coach
Marguerite Tennier,

http://www.canadascoach.com

Cindy Klassen

2006-02-26T09:06:00.001-05:00

Cindy Klassen has just won her 5th medal at the Turin 2006 Olympics. As I watched her step on the podium for that 5th medal, one of the commentators remarked that Cindy was having fun. In fact, she seemed to be on top of the world and that's exactly how it should be when you reach a goal, whether at the Olympics or in the Olympics of your life.

Most of us have been taught not to blow our own horn because it could make others feel less than. I invite you to learn to celebrate your successes. Surround yourself with other winners - people who live their life to the fullest and can celebrate you from a place of abundance.

Your coach
Marguerite Tennier, M.A.
http://www.canadascoach.com

Torino 2006 -real sportmanship

2006-02-19T11:45:00.000-05:00

If the Olympics were created to celebrate real sportmanship, I hope the official from Norway who gave a ski pole to our Canadian athlete gets some form of official recognition because he deserves a Gold. I hear it's part and parcel of the training in Norway to help other athletes. You deserve a Gold, Sir.

Obviously, this official acted from the heart. What an example and a great role model.

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.
http://www.canadascoach.com

The Winter Olympics - Fearlessness and Resilience

2006-02-18T17:56:00.001-05:00

Where ever you are in the world, there is a good chance you have had a chance to watch at least some of the competitions of the Winter Olympics in Torino, Italy.
What a wonderful occasion to view resilience and fearlessness in action by most of these young people. While all participants would love to stand on the podium, most of them know even before they start that they have very little chance to finish among the first 3 and in some competitions, among the top 10. I have watched many of the competitions, one of them the new snowboard cross where four snowboarders come down at full speed hoping for first place. The younger olympian, the more fearless they appear. And even when they fall half way, they get back on their board and finish the race.

Have you given up when you did not get first place? Given up on love? Given up on more success? How would a life coach help?

Can you imagine any athlete succeeding without a coach?

Your coach
Marguerite Tennier
http://www.canadascoach.com

The Winter Olympics

2006-02-18T17:56:00.000-05:00

Transitioning to Fearless Living

2006-02-12T22:27:00.000-05:00

As I celebrated another great birthday today, I took some time to reflect and look at the balance sheet of my life and I am happy to report that the pluses are far greater than the minuses. All the work has paid off. More peace of mind, more joy, more passion, and feeling beautiful inside and out. I reviewed in my mind the three or four life changing decisions I made. In retrospect, I see that I followed my intuition for all the major choices that have brought me to being able to share the results with you today.
Does fear still show up? Well, sometimes and I hope it continues because it's the sign that I am continuing to risk and move outside of my comfort zone. As long as we have goals and dreams, we will have to take risks to realize them and this is what makes the journey both scary and tremendously exciting.

Are you listening to your intuition?

Valentine's Day is around the corner. Remember to do something for you on that day.

Your ooach
Marguerite

http://www.canadascoach.com

What's going on in your life?

2006-02-09T09:17:00.000-05:00

I was speaking with a new acquaintance recently and she confided that she was totally taken by surprise when her husband had told her he wanted a divorce to marry someone else. I know that some people can be pretty good at hiding their double life, but I also know that if we live consciously, we are aware of our surroundings and that includes the climate of our relationships, especially the ones with people we share a home with. I have heard similar stories before and everytime, I have noticed that the person sharing generally kept conversations on a light level.

The best way to kill a relationship is to avoid dealing with problems and the quickest way to do that is to simply remain unaware. Just like you must love yourself before you can know how to love someone else, you must also be aware of what you are feeling and be comfortable with it before you can sense what your partner is feeling. This allows you to address the situation. It's not a guarantee that all will be well, but your new awareness will help you to address the challenges and hopefully bring the relationship back on a healthy course.

Happy Valentine's Day - take the day to connect with yourself and all the people you love.

Marguerite Tennier
http://www.canadascoach.com

The Unmistakable Touch of Grace by Cheryl Richardson

2006-01-29T22:34:00.000-05:00

The latest book by Cheryl Richardson. I bought it yesterday and I just can't seem to put it down. From a quick reading of the first chapters I understand that for Cheryl, grace is, among other things, what or whom the Divine puts on our path and how it can change our life, but only if we are quiet and conscious enough to hear and see.

Cheryl leads us on an intimate voyage into her world and the world of the men and women who have shared their experience of Grace in their life.

This book is for you if like me you have started on a more spiritually centered life path or are looking at doing so.

NOTE: If you live in the Ottawa area, I want to announce that starting in February I will start a monthly gathering for women who are ready to take their life or their career to the next level, based on the Life Makeover model of Cheryl Richardson and I will also include some work around the Fearless Living principles. This will take place every third Thursday of the month, from 7 to 8 p., at the Routhier Community Centre, Guigues St, corner of Cumberland St., in the market area. First gathering: February 16.

Your coach
Marguerite

http://www.canadascoach.com

The joy of taking action

2006-01-22T19:57:00.000-05:00

As a coach, I monitor myself and still see myself avoiding stuff. One of the housekeeping tasks I really dislike is cleaning the refrigerator. I would rather wash a floor, the bathroom or do fifty sit-ups. Of course, by the time I do the dreaded task, it has become an emergency and the consequence is that the job is worse than if I had done earlier.

While the state of my fridge is not a matter of life or death - at least not yet - other avoidances can be more costly, even if they are not a matter of life or death.

Are you avoiding something on your to-do list: taking that last course to complete your degree, taking a close look at your finances and getting a grip on it, taking the next step to take your business to the next level.

One thing is sure: once you do what you have postponed, you will feel great and the satisfaction will be directly proportionate to the stress of avoidance.

I invite you to monitor your satisfaction the next time you finally do the dreaded task - even cleaning the fridge.

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.

http://www.canadascoach.com

Outsmart busyness

2006-01-19T16:17:00.000-05:00

Are you so busy that you often find yourself at the end of the year realizing that you have not taken holiday time? If like me you are a self-employed professional, it's a really easy trap to fall into. It can also be a trap if you are the boss or close to the big boss.

One way to outwit this problem is to reserve your vacation well in advance and pay for it. Once the airfare or hotel is paid for, it will be a lot easier for you to take the time you need to rejuvenate. You can also use this trick to book your monthly massage.

Go and make those reservations now.

Your coach
Marguerite Tennier, M.A.
www.canadascoach.com

Coming up soon: Monthly gathering in Ottawa with Fearless Living principles as well as Cheryl Richardson's Take Time for your Life program. For women to help you create a better life.

Outwit busyness

2006-01-19T15:41:00.001-05:00

Hello faithful readers.

Are you so busy that you seldom use all your vacation days. Do you debate with yourself whether you can go on a vacation, or when you can take the time to go for a massage?

One way to make sure you do take your time of is to book your vacation in advance. Once your airfare or hotel is booked - and paid for - you won't be so tempted to postpone your well deserved time off.

You can also use this tip to book yourself a massage, at least monthly.

Treating your time for yourself this way will help you to feel less stressed, because the decision will have already been made.

As a self-employed professional, I face these issues regularly and many times, I have realized that had the vacation or the massage not been reserved, it would not have happened.

Your coach
Marguerite Tennier, M.A.
www.canadascoach.com

Watch for news release coming soon. Monthly gathering in Ottawa especially for women, offering both Fearless Living and Cheryl Richardon's Take Time for your Life - Stand up for your Life and Life Makeovers coaching to help you make changes to create a great life.

Outwit busyness

2006-01-19T15:41:00.000-05:00

Do or ditch

2006-01-14T15:38:00.000-05:00

How can you be certain that you can realize your dream? The answer is "you can't". Can you imagine yourself only doing when you are certain to succeed. However, when it comes to some risks, projects, dreams, we would like to be assured that it can't fail. On the other hand, carrying some dreams along for years without taking any action can be a way to fool ourselves that some day, we will and it can take the energy that could better be used to take action in other important areas of our life now.

In this beginning of 2006, put all your dreams on the table. List them. Write besides each the time it first became a dream. Then write down what has prevented you from taking action. Finally, decide if you want to keep it alive and start working toward realizing it or if you would rather let it go. If you decide to let it go, ask yourself whether it's because of fear or because you have grown and now have other or bigger dreams or goals. If you are not certain about deciding now, talk about it with a trusted friend (remember, choose someone who does not let her life be run by fear).

Once you have a new clean list of dreams/goals, take one small step to move forward.

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.
Confidence & Fearless Living Coach

http://www.canadascoach.com'

http://www.probonocoachingcanada.com

Develop passion

2006-01-01T09:05:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year

I went to a funeral on Dec. 30th - the father of a young friend died on Christmas day. During the service, people were asked to name one quality they admired in that man during his life. Many qualities were mentioned, courageous, dependable, persistent, kind, generous. His life partner said he was anything but lukewarm. Hot or cold, yes, but no half-measure. For me, that was the definition of passion.

Whatever quality you want to develop, make sure you sprinkle generously with passion.
Passion in your work will trick you into thinking that you are playing, not working. Passion in your relationships, your convictions will give colour to all of your life. Passion will move you over obstacles and help you to make molehills out of mountains.

Your coach
Marguerite Tennier

http://www.canadascoach.com

http://www.probonocoachingcanada.com

Family reunions: gold mines or mine fields

2005-12-22T09:40:00.000-05:00

This is the time of family reunions. Family members can be your best cheerleaders and Fear Busters. Sometimes, however, they can act as your Fear Junkies and in a word or sentence, you can feel you are five again and it's not fun.

If you have big dreams or projects, choose wisely whom you will tell. Protect your dreams. Remember that people who habitually let their fears control their life will react to your risk taking and will tell you all that can go wrong if you take a risk. Parents unfortunately fall into that trap of being Fear Junkies. They want to protect their children from any pain, forgetting that we grow through risk. They don't know that you have what it takes and that every time you face a fear, you fell more vibrant and passionate.

And if some members of your family are frankly toxic - i.e. bad for you because they put you down, are agressive or violent, make sure you have a Plan B to follow if you feel threatened in any way, shape or form. Better yet, visit when those people are not around and/or plan your own celebration with people who love AND respect you.

Have a wonderful Christmas or Hanukkah

Your coach
Marguerite

http://www.canadascoach.com

Preparing the New Year

2005-12-16T17:52:00.000-05:00

Before you start making new plans for 2006, do some preparation. One of the best ways to prepare is to clear space and time for the new. During this week, take a couple of bags or small boxes and get rid of at least twenty items. Throw or give away what you don't like, haven't used in the past year or have in duplicate.

Then, clear a full shelf, or drawer. Completely empty. Look at it often to remind yourself of the dreams and projects you have for 2006.

To make more time for your new dreams and projects, block one evening a week in your day planner. Use a highlighter. Do it for the full year.

Then, sit down and dream.

Your coach

Marguerite

http://www.canadascoach.com

http://www.probonocoachingcanada.com

You are the foundation

2005-12-08T08:53:00.002-05:00

Are you a business person or a professional? If so, you are already aware that your business or career affects your personal life. Are you also aware of how your personal life sets the tone to your professional life?

If your professional life is not where you would like it to be, the first step is to look at the rest of your life. How satisfying is it? To help you, check out the Free Goals report on my website. It will help you figure out your Wheel of Life.

Your coach

Marguerite

http://www.canadascoach.com

You are the foundation

2005-12-08T08:53:00.001-05:00

You are the foundation

2005-12-08T08:53:00.000-05:00

Ask, ask, ask

2005-12-01T15:40:00.000-05:00

First ask yourself, then ask people around you.

During this coming Festive Season, many people, mainly women, go on a frenzy of busyness. So many things to do, so little time I hear women say. When I suggest that there may be another way, they don't see how.

Are you one of these people who keep on explaining that you are tired because of all that needs to be done in this Season? What can you ask yourself? Tell yourself the truth about why you put yourself through the wringer every year. Is it out of pure love or does it have to do with keeping up with your neighbour, your sister, your crowd? Do you get some validation by doing so much? Ouch! Being honest about our motivation can help keep us sane.

Then ask your loved ones what is really important for them during this Season. Would they prefer less home-baked cookies and meat pies and a less tired you? Are they willing to give a hand if they want it all?

I know that during some years, in the past, I have also been so proud to have produced home made tourtières and cookies and fruitcake but it lasted only a few short years. I realized that my children did not really care whether the food came from the store or from the hands of their tired mother. The fact that my own working mother made her first pie at sixty also gave me some good examples about not slaving in the kitchen when I can be reading a good book.

Have a great day

Your coach
Marguerite Tennier

http://www.canadascoach.com

Silence is gold

2005-11-25T11:33:00.000-05:00

You may have heard that silence was gold. What it usually meant was to keep some of our thoughts to ourselves (I have my own thoughts on that one). My meaning today of silence is gold refers to how giving yourself some silent time is one of the highest forms of self-care. You may think that if you live alone, you don't need to practice silence. However, consciously being silent means you don't distract with the television or radio in the background or some work you brought from the office, or you don't occupy yourself with housecleaning or a hobby.

The busier you are, the more stressful your job, the more you owe it to yourself to experience silence. Start a couple of minutes at a time. You may want to startat work. Close your office door, close your eyes, breathe a little deeper than your usual shallow breathing and practice not thinking. My favorite way is to imagine a television with only static and to focus on the static, bringing myself back to it if/usually when, my mind drifts to something from the past or the future. Experience the perfect present.

Learn to practice at home also. Sit down. Breathe. You may want to do a couple of minutes when you first get home from work and before bedtime. Going for a walk? Slow down your pace. Instead of distracting yourself looking at people, houses, look at the sky, the trees, listen to the birds.

Your coach
Marguerite

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.
http://www.canadascoach.com

http://www.probonocoachingcanada.com

Fear=greatness

2005-11-21T11:39:00.000-05:00

"Our fear is directly proportional to our greatness." Laura Berman Fortgang. Living your Best Life, 2001

Wow! How much fear do you have? Isn't it exciting? Under all those fears is an incredible human being with tremendous potential, gifts and wonder.

No matter who I speak with (even when I have one of those monologues with myself), the one factor that is universal is the fear, the inner critic that keeps us from living our greatness. The problem is that fear is very astute and will give you all the evidence to convince you not to risk: a new job, a new love, developing a talent. Fear is not only directly proportional to our greatness, it is also proportional to our intellectual abilities. The more intelligent you are, the better your mind can come up with reasons not to risk.

One way to disarm fear is to welcome it as a sign that it hides a diamond and to vow to unearth it.

Want help to unearth your greatness? Email me for a free mining session.

marguerite@canadascoach.com
Marguerite Tennier,M.A.

http://www.canadascoach.com

http://www.probonocoachingcanada.com

Screening the "to do" list

2005-11-18T12:42:00.000-05:00

It would be nice to have the time to do everything, the important, the urgent and the fun stuff too. The reality is if you want want more success in your business, your career or your whole life, you will need to screen out some items from your neverending to-do list.

One way to make your job of choosing easier, is to first define your priorities in each area. For example, if you are in business for yourself and work from home, your priorities may be: to grow your business, to maintain a healthy life balance, to continue learning, to participate in your community through volunteering, to socialize to meet a life partner.

The goal is not to rigidly divide your time to do some of everything on a daily basis, but to generally organize your life so that you maintain a general balance that feels comfortable for you. Balance is not static. Some weeks, you may find yourself working longer hours because of a special project. At other times, self-care and socializing will be higher on the list and at other times, classes or volunteering will take precedence.

Through it all, make sure you make time for the basics on a daily basis. They are: enough sleep, at least 3 nutritious meals, some form of exercise, even if it is only a twenty minutes walk at lunch time and some "you" time to read, take a warm bath, talk with a friend, meditate or listen to your favorite music.

Once you establish what your priorities are, it will be easier to say yes or no and feel good about your choices.

Marguerite Tennier

http://www.canadascoach.com

http://www.probonocoachingcanada.com

Loving yourself and Power

2005-11-14T11:11:00.000-05:00

"...But the greatest love of self is keeping an eye on where we distribute our power." Laura Berman Fortgang, Living your Best Life, 2001.

The Holiday Season is coming fast and with it, the demands of society to conform and be manipulated into the belief that the best way to show our love is by giving stuff and the more we love, the more expensive the stuff. Gift giving is one place where it's easy to give your power away and try to keep up with the Jones or somehow prove something.

If you want to claim your power in this area this Holiday Season, the first thing to do is a budget. What can you truly afford to spend? Even if you are very rich, does your teenager need another expensive something, or would spending time with him or her be priceless and help you two get closer? Same applies to your life partner.

This might also be the time to clarify what your values are and start living according to them. If you do so, I can promise you will reconnect with a new found inner peace at the end of the day.

Your coach
Marguerite Tennier

http://www.canadascoach.com

http://www.probonocoachingcanada.com

November 11, 2005

2005-11-11T22:58:00.000-05:00

Those of you who receive my newsletter know that I have faced a major cancer scare this Fall. Fortunately, it was a scare and another wake-up call: this is not a dress rehearsal. I have made a commitment to myself to live more fearlessly than before. Not parachute jumping, but saying yes to more, especially when my first reaction is "Oh, no! I can't do that" which still happens, I must admit. My first week of increased fearless living saw me accept to deliver a speech for Dr. S. Jordan's award at Ottawa University, accept to be an expert on a call-in radio show (unfortunately cancelled at the last minute) and model lingerie on live television in Ottawa, today.

I challenge you, yes you, who are reading this to join me in increasing your fearlessness for the next two months. I would love if you then can send me a note and tell me how this changed your life.

On another note, I was walking near the Veterans' parade today in downtown Ottawa and I was moved to tears thinking about what these men and women went through during the last World War and how I take my freedom and peace for granted.

On a last note, Happy Birthday to those who celebrate a birthday today.

Marguerite Tennier

http://www.canadascoach.com

http://www.probonocoachingcanada.com

Where are you rushing to?

2005-11-07T09:56:00.000-05:00

Are you wearing your running shoes all the time? Figuratively speaking that is. It seems there is not a day that I don't meet at least one person who is out of breath because of his or her lifestyle, yet can't see any other way. Just like the shoe salesperson who automatically looks at people's shoes where ever she goes, as a coach, I hear professionals describing their busy schedule and how they "can't" find time for some things that truly matter to them. They don't find time for exercice, for their hobby, their best friend. They feel trapped, yet they alone hold the key.

Do you recognize yourself here? Until you are ready to stop and answer honestly the question: what drives me to live like a hamster on it's wheel, nothing will change.
Do you feel appreciated only at work? Does work allow you to live "from the neck up", without the need for emotions and feelings? Do you try to prove your worth through "doing"?

If your response to this post is a list of good reasons and evidence why change is impossible in your case, then this may be the proof that you need to take off your running shoes and try on some slippers for a couple of hours.

Your coach
Marguerite Tennier

http://www.canadascoach.com

Being your own advocate

2005-10-31T09:21:00.000-05:00

Put simply, an advocate is someone who is giving her 100% to help you obtain a given result. In fact, an advocate will fight for you so that your needs and rights are respected. Most of us don't have a personal advocate but, we can all be our own.

Imagine how different your life could be if you started each day being your own advocate. Would you allow your body to receive the kind of breakfast you give it or would you fight for more nutritious food? Would you tolerate how some people treat you at work or would you fight to assert yourself or work hard to find another job? Would you insist for regular medical care instead of doing what you regularly do, which is to wait until you are sick? In other words, if you were your own advocate, you would see to it that your body, your mind, your soul deserve the best. You would be 100% on your side.

I was coaching a client last week and when I asked her what was most important, her work or herself, she answered "don't tell me it's me". This very capable, bright, intelligent professional knew the answer, but was not living it and her life reflected it. I was her advocate at that moment.

Have a great week and have the confidence to be your own advocate this week.

Your coach

Marguerite Tennier

http://www.canadascoach.com

http://www.probonocoachingcanada.com

Persistence

2005-10-15T13:28:00.000-04:00

How are your 2005 goals taking form? Did you take consistent action? The secret to success has more to do with consistent action, over time, than with high peaks and long valleys. Persistence and taking consistent action do not mean that you have to spend all your days working on your goal, but that you plan and block time daily, or weekly to work on your plan. Sounds easy, but life has a way of taking over and unless you have blocked time in your day planner, chances are you will forget.

If you don't have a day planner, now is a good time to get one for the coming year (2006 is less than three months away!!!). Being successful will be easier if you use whatever resource is available. Remember that to ask and use support is a sign that you value yourself.

Marguerite Tennier,

http://www.canadascoach.com

http://probonocoachingcanada.com

Back at work

2005-09-25T21:10:00.000-04:00

Wow! I can't believe I have been away for over a month. Part holiday, part packing and unpacking for the move. A big part for the move and the sale of the house. I could write a book, albeit small, about how a sale can go wrong when negligence and incompetence meet through notaries and lending institutions. A word of caution, especially if you sell in Quebec where you have to deal with the notary of the buyer.

In as much as I hate saying goodbye to summer with it's long, warm days, I also love September because it's back to school and a time to start working on my current projects. This year, they include completing my CTM with Toastmasters International and starting on the next designation and possibly a Fun and Learn Carribean cruise with Toastmasters Top Ten International speakers.

Are you excited about the next three months? If not, take the time to bring some dreams and goals to the surface and take the first step to make it happen. Keep a diary of every action you take and write down how good it makes you feel.

Marguerite Tennier
http://www.canadascoach.com

http://www.probonocoachingcanada.com

Radical Honesty

2005-08-18T18:25:00.000-04:00

Imagine how your life would be different if you simply told the truth. All the time. The truth about what you did or did not do; the truth about how you feel, what you think, what you need. Just imagine yourself at age 4 or 5, before you learned to lie because you thought being real was not good enough.

Just imagine how different your life would be if you just made that one change in your life? How would your friendships be different; what about your love life? Most relationships die through lack of truth from the beginning. No more pretending. No more stress caused by lack of self-respect. No more wishing and waiting, hoping that the other will guess what you want or need. Just being yourself. Telling the truth in job interviews, knowing that the right job for you can only happen if you show up as yourself. The same thing for relationships, from day one.

Does being honest and real cause other challenges? Yes. For sure. It requires that the people involved be capable of communicating as adults. Because it's not always easy to be in real relationships. It's just so much more satisfying in the long term.

Marguerite Tennier

http://www.canadascoach.com

http://www.probonocoachingcanada.com

Not gone, just gone to the beach

2005-07-25T13:03:00.000-04:00

In Eastern Ontario-Western Quebec, we are being blessed with one of the best summers in a long time. Very hot, yes and perfect for the beach. I love it. I have turned my house into a summer cottage and I take advantage of a superb pristine lake less than half-hour away. I feel I am living the California lifestyle right here in Canada. This is the reason I have been silent on the blog. In fact, I have done only what's absolutely necessary since Summer arrived. I schedule my days around the weather.

Are you making the most of the opportunities in your life to slow down and renew your energy? You may not have a lake nearby and you may have a five-day-a-week job AND you can still use the milder weather to spend more time outside and relax more. Whether you are a busy business owner, a full-time working mom (another kind of full-time business) or a busy corporate executive, you can take steps to give yourself more time to enjoy life. Have a pique-nique in the park or in the backyard a few times a week - a loaf of bread, cheese, fruits and some cold meats with a V-8 make an acceptable meal. Use paper plates - forget vacuuming or dusting for a week (or more). If you have your own business or are master of your work time, sleep in an extra hour once in a while or go in early and leave early or take half the day off- go to the lake, the pool or schedule a massage and go the office after the sun has gone down. Dress more casually - imagine you're in California.

My 5th speech at Toastmasters International last Friday was about pleasure and how as a society we are so deprived of healthy pleasure that many fill on "pseudo-pleasures" - consumerism, and excesses in things and those excesses are never enough because they are not the real thing. A little like taking a full bottle of vitamin C and wanting more because the real deficiency is vitamin B.

I invite you to go out and play for the rest of the summer - re-awaken that healthy child you once were. Remember what you loved doing as a child and go out and do it. Fly a kite (I'll lend you mine), go fishing, boating, camping or day-dream endlessly while you star gaze. And if someone objects, tell them, The Coach ordered it.

Enjoy the summer

Marguerite Tennier

http://www.canadascoach.com

What's really important?

2005-07-08T12:57:00.000-04:00

Hello everyone: I have been away from my computer in the past few weeks attending to important stuff in my life - selling a home and finding new accommodation - the latter having happened yesterday. I am happy to report I have found what I was looking for, making me a stronger believer in the power of attraction.

Yesterday was also the day of the terrorist attacks in London, reminding all of us of the fragility of life - I am quite certain that most of us thought of our loved ones and gave thanks that they were safe. It also put in perspective my worries about finding the right home.

Whether in business or personal life, it's often tempting to react to real or perceived emergencies while the important stuff goes undone. Reacting gives adrenaline and the illusion that we are important.

Coaching challenge: Do you react and feel important because you are rushing from one fire to the next or do you attend to what is really important? Not everything is a question of life or death - by all means, rush to the hospital if you break a leg, but make sure not everything is a ten in your list of priorities.

Have a great weekend, sorting the priorities

Your coach
Marguerite Tennier

http://www.canadascoach.com

http://www.probonocoachingcanada.com

Mastery

2005-06-21T15:30:00.000-04:00

"Don't be afraid if things seem difficult in the beginning. That's only the initial impression. The important thing is not to retreat. You have to master yourself."

Olga Korbut, Olympic Champion

http://www.canadascoach.com

Allow for intuition

2005-06-13T12:19:00.000-04:00

"...you don't just need more intuition, you need better intuition..."
Executive EQ - Emotional Intelligence in Leadership and Organizations
Cooper & Sawaf

One of the surest way to learn to hear your intuitive voice, is to allow time at the beginning of the day, before life takes over, to write down whatever comes to mind. Julie Cameron, author of the Artist's Way recommends writing three pages every morning - just writing, even if at first all you can think about is, "This is silly", "I have nothing to say", "I am not a writer", and whatever else your internal fears are saying.

The only condition is to write EVERYTHING that comes to your mind, about work and about the rest of your life. Being radically emotionally honest with yourself, about it all. Ideally, you will keep your writing and review it weekly, but if this prevents you to write everything because of fear that someone may read it, then just write, read what you've just written and shred.

Coaching challenge:
Commit to writing your three pages every morning for a month, O.K., commit for a week if one month seems too much of a commitment. Then evaluate whether it has increased your ability to hear that inner voice of intuition.

Your coach
Margurite Tennier

http://www.canadascoach.com

Meaning

2005-06-09T15:40:00.000-04:00

"Meaning is not something you stumble across, like the answer to a riddle... Meaning is something you build into your life. You build it out of your own past, out of your affections and loyalties... out of the values for which you are willing to sacrifice something....The ingredients are there. You are the only one who can put them together into that unique pattern that will be your life. Let it be a life that has dignity and meaning for you."

John Gardner, professor at Stanford, as quoted in: Executive EQ: Emotional Intelligence in Leadership and Organizations, Robert K. Cooper, Ph.D., and Ayman Sawaf

Are you searching for meaning? In some ways, consciously or not, all human beings are turning toward the light, or what we often mistakenly see as the light. We don't have to improve who we are, we just have to accept the reality of who we are and decide what we can do with the lemons that life has given us, because those lemons have shaped us into a unique being with a 100% unique flavour. Let the world know this awesome flavour called "you". Don't use artificial sweeteners to produce a bland copy of someone else. Just find the best recipe for the ingredients you possess.

Coaching challenge: What are some of the lemons of your past that you have worked hard at ignoring or hiding? Look at some the creative and positive ways other people with similar lemons have put their mark on the world. Come up with 3 ways you can make those lemons into the most memorable lemonade that will give meaning to your life.

Your coach
Marguerite Tennier, M.A

http://www.canadascoach.com

Conflict and EI

2005-06-01T10:05:00.000-04:00

"If your heart could speak, what emotion would it express?"
Author unknown

Those of you who subscribe to my ezine have received the latest one, about Conflict and Emotional Intelligence.

I believe that the avoidance of conflict in relationships is possibly the biggest cause of divorce and separation, loneliness and misery. Wow! I feel strongly about this one. I must admit that I have been guilty of this in my past relationships - so I speak from experience. Avoiding conflict (i.e.pushing the issue under the carpet) gives short term gain but causes long term pain. The stress of walking on eggshells around someone is detrimental to that particular relationship because you are not being yourself, it's detrimental to your health because of the stress you impose on your system and all this stuff will spill over to the rest of your life.

If you are able to deal constructively with conflict in one area of your life, it means you have the skills. The reason you may not do the same in personal relationships has more to do with how you perceive the conflict as being a threat to your emotional safety instead of looking at the potential positive side of being honest.

Coaching challenge: Where do you avoid conflict? If there is a pattern to your avoidance, list the consequences you are hoping to avoid. How satisfying is that area of your life? Then review your history and evaluate whether those beliefs and behaviours have given you the desired outcome (more love, more emotional intimacy and safety). Finally, make a plan to start making small steps with your loved ones to take small risks to listen to what your soul and your heart really want.

Your coach
Marguerite Tennier

http://www.canadascoach.com

Being real or "your soul is showing"

2005-05-22T00:24:00.000-04:00

"You can be one of a million or you can be one in a million."
Rachelle Disbennett-Lee, author and Business and Life coach, Denver, CO.

It is very simple to be one in a million and to stand out. You only have to be yourself. I remember the first time in my first job as a psychotherapist when I co-facilitated a group. The more experienced therapist was great and I tried to be like him. And I couldn't. I remember going home at night quite discouraged with myself. Later that week, I co-facilitated with another therapist whose style was so different. Then I understood that if I wanted to be a good therapist, I would have to just be myself as I applied what I had learned.

It's the same in the rest of life. We are all unique. No one else has the same combination of qualities and quirks. It's often easier to just be like everyone else. Less chances of reprisal or rejection, but the satisfaction is also missing. If you want to add passion in all of your life, dare to be yourself, let your soul show. People who can appreciate the real stuff will notice.

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.

http://www.canadascoach.com

http://www.probonocoachingcanada.com

Emotional Intelligence and a difficult boss

2005-05-20T10:36:00.000-04:00

Work in itself can be stressful. The various demands on your days, the deadlines, too much to do in too little time. If you are also on the receiving end of a "boss from hell", you may need to seriously look for another job. In the meantime, you need to use your emotional intelligence to counteract this added stress and the accompanying anxiety. The worst mental space to be in is thinking that you are stuck in that job. Because a bad boss can demolish your confidence in very little time, your survival kit must be equal to or better.

If you are facing such a stress, decide whether the benefits of the job are worth staying. Do a cost analysis. Even if you don't plan to leave, keep your resume up to date and work your network. You may even apply for other jobs. That will help keep your confidence and who knows, you may find a great job, with a great boss.

In the meantime, find a healthy stress buster. Having a relaxation technique that you practice everyday, can help you survive stressful situations with less distress. The point is you need to practice it regularly, not just when you find yourself in overwhelm. Compare it to brushing your teeth every day, not just when you discover a cavity! Meditation is recognized as having incredible power in helping people to make lasting changes in the way they react to stress. Regular practice can reset your trigger point and help retrain your amygdala (part of the old brain).

Your coach
Marguerite Tennier, M.A.

http://www.canadascoach.com

http://www.probonocoachingcanada.com

A coach's experience

2005-05-17T16:12:00.000-04:00

Just to let you know that I'm still learning.

I recently allowed a friend of a friend to use my spare bedroom while he looks for a place of his own. It never dawned on me that this complete stranger would have habits that would not suit me. Well, a couple of weeks into the arrangement and it became clear that some things were bothering me. I had made assumptions.
Fortunately, I followed my coaching advice and spoke as soon as I started feeling some frustration, which was very early on.

Coaching challenge: Learn to listen to your inner voice when you are in a new situation, experience and trust that you have not only the right but the duty to express your needs. Better yet, be a step ahead: take the time beforehand to think about what could become a problem.

Your coach
Marguerite Tennier

http://www.canadascoach.com

http://www.probonocoachingcanada.com

Emotional Intelligence and conflict

2005-05-16T13:10:00.000-04:00

"Avoiding conflict is the best way to invite conflict". Do you tend to avoid conflict in your life? Do you do it mostly at work or in your personal relationships? My guess is the area where you work hard at avoiding conflict is the one area that is the less satisfying. The reason is that when you avoid conflict, you are not being yourself. When you are afraid of conflict, you give away your power. You litterally pay with your own life for the right to be. Or do you also try to appease with gifts.

How can you use emotional intelligence to move out of that pattern? The best time to do some work is when you are not being emotionally hikacked, that is when you can think straight. Think of the latest crisis? Do you repeatedly avoid the same type of conflict only to find yourself in crisis time after time? Take a sheet of paper and write down the feelings that come up AND go back in time to the very first time you felt that way.

Chances are it will be when you were very young, maybe a young child. That way of reacting is governed by the "old brain". Then write down another scenario, of how you could have responded as the adult you now are. Be specific. Some examples are: I could have asked for some time to think; I could have gone for a walk to calm down. I could have reminded myself that I normally act this way because I am scared (to be alone, to be selfish, to be abandonned and it has not been in my best interest in the past) and reassured myself that as long as I am there for myself, I'll be ok (have been up to now).

Another way to learn is to surround yourself with healthy people who deal with conflict in a safe way and to ask one friend to help you practice.

How often do you need to practice? A lot. It takes many repetitions to build new pathways and give the new brain the power to override the old emotional brain but the great news is that we can increase our emotional intelligence as long as we live (I know I am still working on mine).

Have a great week

Marguerite Tennier
http://www.canadascaoch.com

http://www.probonocoachingcanada.com

Change and stress

2005-05-11T10:06:00.000-04:00

Any change can be perceived as stressful. Even positive change. Hans Selye, often called the father of stress, called that kind of stress eustress, as opposed to distress.

If you are considering making changes in your life, it's quite possible that you can experience anxiety and it's quite unsettling. Here you were looking forward to something and it happens and you feel unsettled. It happened to me this week as I sat waiting to accept an offer for my house.

Coaching challenge: The next time you are about to make a change, remember that any change can cause some anxiety. Do an internal check with yourself to first review your reasons for wanting that change. Write down your reasons for the change and remember that life does not come with guarantees. Risk and enjoy, looking forward to what's to come next.

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.

http://www.canadascoach.com

Aliveness

2005-04-28T12:30:00.000-04:00

Good morning. Today is another beautiful Spring morning. The sun is straining to come across the clouds, the birds are singing while building their nest, my lilac edge is beginning to show traces of green and I am getting over the flu. Life is good.

How alive are you? Have you created a life that makes you fell fully alive or do you search for some form of aliveness in things or people, out there?

You have a wealth of inner aliveness. Your life and various experiences have obscured it. You can access your inner aliveness by learning to re-connect to your inner child, the part of you who was once free to run barefoot in the rain, to make castles out of mud, to delight in the shape of clouds, to sing at the top of your lungs, to practice imitating the cry of the loon, to eat with your fingers and to be totally captivated by the beauty of a butterfly or the sound of a bird.

Coaching challenge: choose one activity and spend at least 5 minutes each day doing it. This kind of practice will slowly feed your soul what it usually searches in "things". This kind of sustenance is also called slow food for the soul.

Your coach
Marguerite Tennier

http://www.canadascoach.com

http://www.probonocoachingcanada.com

Eat to un-stress: foundation of self-care

2005-04-23T12:15:00.000-04:00

No, I don't mean to eat when stressed. What I am saying is you can eat in such a way that it will help you manage the stressful events in your life, have more energy, live longer and feel a lot better

Most people do it all wrong. Sorry, but that's the truth. I don't know where we got it that the main, biggest and heaviest meal of the day should be in the evening.
The two most important meals of the day are breakfast and lunch, unless your day starts at 3 p.m. or you work nights. The two first meals of your day are where you get the energy to do your work. Most people have a mini or no breakfast at all, some sweet at mid-morning and a salad or sandwich for lunch, only to feel famished and in a slump by 3 p.m. and go on the hunt for more sweets. There is another way.

Coaching challenge:

Do yourself a favour - try it for one week and let me know how it worked for you.

Have a breakfast with some protein and some carb and some fruit, eat a fruit mid-morning or some raw vegetables or a V-8, then have a lunch with more protein than carb and at least 2 servings of veggies (lettuce does not count) and finish your day with a lighter meal comprised of more carb than protein, and another 2 to 3 servings of veggies. Make sure to eat at least 3 hours before your bedtime.

Eating this way will energize you when you need it most.

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.
http://www.canadascoach.com

http://www.probonocoachingcanada.com

Do it for yourself

2005-04-18T11:55:00.000-04:00

Do you keep the best dishes for company? Did you stop smoking while pregnant only to start again when the baby was born? Do you treat your lover to expensive restaurants but eat a sandwich at your desk or would'nt think of eating alone at your favorite place? Do you feed your family healthy dinners but get fast food or a bowl of soup for dinner when you are alone? Do you put your life on hold when you are not in a relationship? Do you do for others what you won't take the trouble to do for yourself?

STOP! I am sorry to tell you that you won't get any medal for playing the role of a victim or martyr. What's more you are also likely to become resentful and maybe to act out your frustration.

The secret to having a great life is to put yourself in high enough esteem that you consistently make the best choices for yourself.

Coaching challenge: If you recognize that you treat yourself less than you do others, make a list and start making changes, one a week. You can decide to be bold, like treating yourself to an expensive restaurant by yourself in the middle of the week, or start slowly by bringing healthy snacks to work - oranges, apples, almonds, V8 are healthy choices.

Have a healthy week

Your coach
Marguerite Tennier
http://www.canadascoach.com

http://www.probonocoachingcanada.com

Stress relief tip

2005-04-11T13:12:00.000-04:00

Do you find that you have so much to remember and so many things to take care of? Errands, auto shop,calling for a hair cut, etc. Give yourself a break. Instead of forcing yourself to remember it all, get a small notebook and write down everything you have to do, when you think about it. Once it's recorded in your book, you can use your energy for the tasks at hand. Make a ritual of checking your notebook twice a day. Around noon, and again before bedtime.
Update the info, write down in your daily planner the appointment date and time and cross off the corresponding "to do" in your notebook.

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.,
http://www.canadascoach.com

http://www.probonocoachingcanada.com

Do you procrastinate?

2005-04-07T15:37:00.000-04:00

Those of you who have subscribed to my monthly ezine remember that last month's subject was that pain is not normal.

One way we inflict pain on ourselves is through procrastination. There are a few reasons why we procrastinate. One is fear. Fear of change, of conflict, of......
Another reason why we procrastinate is because we don't particularly enjoy the task.
I tend to procrastinate around cleaning the fridge - probably my most disliked house duty and around tax time. And you guessed it, now is tax time and here I am, talking about it!!! Whatever the reason we have or the excuses we find, procrastinating gives us pain because it increases our stress level. Anything we tolerate in our life as "unfinished" be it cleaning the garage, or the fridge or any other matter, we up our level of stress every time.

Coaching challenge: Take a sheet of paper and a pen. Write down everything you are postponing, procrastinating on or otherwise avoid. Make an exhaustive list. Besides each item, write down whether it's fear or dislike, or a possible third reason, not wanting it bad enough. Then assess the level of pain (stress) it's causing you. Keep the list in full view and decide which items you want to tackle first. (First scratch the ones you don't really want)

Then, imagine how it will feel like after you have completed each project. Choose one and take action to complete it. As you work on your list, evaluate the benefit of each action on your wellbeing. There is a great chance that the benefit will outweigh the work involved.

I am off to completing my income tax.

Have a great weekend.

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.
http://www.canadascoach.com

http://www.probonocoachingcanada.com

Taking the right risks

2005-03-28T12:24:00.000-05:00

What type of risks to you tend to take? Risks that are well thought beforehand or risks to make you believe that you are a risk taker? Let me explain. Human beings are programmed to grow, not just old, but up. When we don't move out of our comfort zone to risk and grow, our whole being feels uncomfortable. Like wearing your size 8 jeans when you are really a size 10, or 12. When this happens, the discomfort often pushes us to react. That's when we take "foolish" risks, to trick us into thinking that we are indeed more brave. These foolish risks, however, fall more into reckless living than Fearless living. They provide momentary distraction from the discomfort, but do not allow for growth.

Stop fooling yourself. Look at the risks you take. Are they the kind that build your confidence and self-esteem or the kind that simply flatters your ego while you feel like a fraud deep down.

Coaching challenge: List the risks you have taken that have paid off in lasting confidence (pursued your studies, changed jobs, bought your first house, traveled alone, asked for what you wanted, etc. etc.) Add the three risks you have been avoiding and take the first step, today.

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.
http://www.canadascoach.com

http://margueritetennier.blogspot.com

Happiness

2005-03-26T12:02:00.000-05:00

"I am not happy, I am cheerful. There is a difference. A happy woman has no cares at all. A cheerful woman has cares but has learned to deal with them." Beverly Sills, 1929 - American Opera Singer

And maybe, that's what happiness is all about. To learn to deal with our "cares". How do we start to do that? The first step is to accept to feel. As a therapist, I know the value of helping clients feel and learn to deal with the feeling in a healthy way, however painful the feeling is. What works in therapy is also valid for everybody who does not need therapy but still has life situations that bring up feelings we would rather not have. And we all have those. Some people say they don't, but I believe that a large portion of the population is terminally disconnected to themselves.

Raphael Cushnir in his book, Setting your Heart on Fire, explains how shutting out our feelings just keeps them stuck inside where they continue to torment us and how we consequently spend our lives acting out what's bothering us.

The only way out of the misery is through. Feel fully. Easy to say you may think.
I know from experience that feeling the pain and staying with it is a process that works. The more present we are to what we feel, the more empowered we become. The more present, the more chances to take effective action to change what's not working.

Next time you hear yourself thinking "I don't want to feel that" or you see yourself reaching for your usual non-effective way out, stop. Stay with what's happening. That's the only way you can make the changes that will give you happiness.

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.
http://www.canadascoach.com

http://www.probonocoachingcanada.com